Below find excerpts from recent Laser Coaching sessions with our Facebook community.
I need help motivating my 14 year old son with his school work. He is in mixed choir now and must pass in order to participate but last year he showed very little interest in even getting by. ~ Martha
Hi Martha, Better to get someone else to help your son... it's tough for parents. Also, be open to your son no longer wanting to participate in certain activities that were once important. 14 is around the age when kids start to shift. Find a tutor, a mentor, a big brother, etc. Preferably a man... he's moving away from mom a bit at this age and that's a good thing ;)
How do you get out of a "rut" of resentment when you are the sole caregiver for a ill and elderly family member and you have asked for help and don't receive. I have an autoimmune condition, a 10 year old, a job and a house of my own.... grrrr... self care should be number one on my list but it seems to come in last and the frustration comes in first. ~ Beth
Beth, I know how you feel. Been there... you must ask for help from lots of people and accept it even when it's not good enough for what you want. Experience has taught me that there are always people ready to help, but resentment can keep them away. I wouldn't deal with what you're dealing with without a therapist to talk with every week either...
I just sent my son off to college and I'm a wreck! I can't even go into his bedroom without crying! how in the WORLD am I going to do this!!??? ~ Deb
Oh Deb... I'm sending you a BIG HUG. You're supposed to feel sad. It's normal for a mom who has dedicated her life to raising her child. Just make sure you get support for your grief from someone OTHER THAN your son. He needs to find his own way and you need good support right now from other adults - friends, colleagues, other moms, etc. And maybe a good therapist for a while...
I need help dealing with repeated family drama which intensifies around the holidays. How do I decide when to deal with it or to set up boundaries? - J.
Hi J., I have a rule that I PULL BACK from any repeated drama, especially during stressful times like the holidays. You can do so graciously. You might tell a family member, “I love you and I've decided to sit this party (dinner or event - you fill in the blank) out this year.” Set a boundary by simply not engaging. You may be challenged to sit with the anxiety that comes from doing things a bit differently, but in the long run you'll be so glad you did!
I’m dealing with the loss of my Dad a week ago. Do you have any healthy suggestions on how to COPE and MOVE FORWARD??? - L.
Oh, Dear L., I'm so, so sorry to hear about the loss of your Dad. Please, don't worry about moving forward - it's all about extreme self care right now. First of all, please send your address to email@example.com so I can send you an audio version of The Art of Extreme Self Care. My hope is that listening to me talk to you directly might be a bit of comfort during this difficult time. Keep asking yourself: What do I need right this minute to take extra special care of myself? Then do it. Cry if you need to (it helps to release the grief), take a nap, watch TV, talk with a friend, or take a warm bath and hug yourself. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND LIFE WILL GET BETTER. But for now, losing a loved one is just plain hard. I'm putting you on my prayer list :)
Hi T., Gifts of love are better than any holiday gift you can buy. Go through the archived newsletters on my website and look for great gift ideas that cost almost nothing. Your children will remember them forever...
Hi S., To stay grown up while with family, get the book: Growing Yourself Back Up by John Lee -- you'll LOVE it ;)