Circle of Courage Check in 5/1/06

[mrsgoethert]

I guess it may be a monthly chapter. Sorry I'm so slow! Is anyone ready to begin here? The change that I want to make is to contribute some income to the household. I've been doing that, but it is moving slow. I am having a hard time in GA, with people not returning calls or e-mails, it seems to take months in some cases, I kid you not. That's if they bother to return your call. But, I have managed to do a few massages, so I did bring in some. I've sold some old workout videos, and that brought in some more. But, my total for the month was under $600, but I should be happy having just decided that I'm ready to go back out there! Anyway, my goal is to bring a minimum of $1000 per month into the income. It won't change my life, other than help me feel that I'm helping out.

I guess that my sentance would be: I want to easily and effortlessly earn $1,000 per month helping others to feel good.

That's my part one. Join in!

[LGB705]

Chapter one was longer than I thought. I just got through the part today where you write your desire. Let me think on this over night and I will get back here.

Laura:p

[elenar]

I agree chapter one is taking me a long time too. Don't feel bad for dragging your feet....I am right beside you. Work has been crazy and I am trying get my business of the ground but it has been slow. I too need to think on my desire. my first instinct is to say more money or income....but part of me is saying there is something more. I too will think about it and get back to you tomorrow. Happy to hear from you both...talk to you soon.

[mrsgoethert]

Wow, looks like we are loosing momentum at a very rapid pace. I am going on vacation for a few weeks, but when I get back, I'll post some more, and hope to see more from everyone!;) Let's regroup and focus.

[LGB705]

Don't worry, momentum can be picked up at any time....I have continued reading and I am into chapter 3. However, I kept putting off writing down my sentence for my new vision, identifying values....hmmm, would that be called resistence? I just couldn't "find" the time, yet I kept reading. Anyway, tonight my sons were busy studying, lacrosse was not on the calendar and even my husband was busy with the checkbook - so I suddenly found the house quiet and what ended up being a whole hour to attack my "homework". And that is what I had planned to share with our group. As you read below you will see how the "busy" I described above, is what slows me down with getting where I want to go!

Cheryl's book starts with asking the reader to identify an area of their life they'd like to change, how it that change would make a difference and serve the reader. A detailed version of the vision is constructed and then a one sentence summary.

My one sentence summary (and I would love to read others) is: I want to enjoy and be grateful for the life I have, the daily things I do and know that what I do is important, has value and matters.

Just to fill in some background, the end of May will mark my 2nd anniversary of having left corporate america. After working for 17 yrs non-stop after college, I left because the hours conflicted with getting my kids (then 7 and 11) out of daycare on time. I loved being in corporate finance as a career, and the perks, money and projects were all great, but I could no longer stand the 10pm, the midnight and 3 in a row 2am nights that left me scrambling for a sitter or my new husband to care for the kids (not a good way to start a 2nd marriage). The job transitioned into something I did not and would not have ever interviewed for. But it was a job, we were newly married, and by year 3, when I asked for an au pair for Christmas, my husband (whose children were in college) asked if I had ever considered staying at home with the kids. 10 months later, I was home. And while I love keeping the house just so, and the kids are better fed, disciplined and now can play sports year round - not to mention the fun we have all summer - I find myself trying to come up w/ideas and more things to do in order to be busy and feel productive (since my kids are in school from 8:15 to 3pm each day). I say YES to everything and end up really stressed out, although happy to be helping...the homeless shelter, the thriftshop, tennis, golf, a 3credit class in Psych. each semester, lunches w/long lost friends, volunteering at school, you name it, its on my calendar. Yet I still have that searching feeling. And of course my husband says he doesn't care how I spend my time during the day, as long as the laundry gets done and the house is clean. My problem is I try to do to much b/c I don't see the work behind the kids and house as being "enough" to justify being at home and having real value. If we weren't headed into the 3rd summer (and year 3) I'd assume I'd get over it - but I think this "busy" and stressed life has replaced the one I left in corporate america. Yet the other mom's don't seem to be on the same treadmill. They've been home for years and they all say they've earned the downtime during the day of having all the kids in school. So there: I want to slow down, see the value in my time and enjoy this life that I have. (For years all I wanted was to quit to be home w/my little ones, yet was never able - and of course the divorce didn't make it any easier!!!).

In the book, there is an exercise to select many values, then ten and then four. My 4 were: Dependable, Vulnerable, Love, Integrity. And I do think that slowing down will help me make them a priority in my life.

Whew - well, I know its a long message, but I feel like I am on my way...back to chapter 3. Please respond with you own thoughts and stories!!

[elenar]

Wow...our lives are opposites. I work full time and my spouse is home with the kids. I know it sounds odd but he is the one that takes care of the house and does the laundry and picks up the kids’ etc. etc. I too take my fare share of the driving and the parenting. I have a job that is really flexible. I volunteer at the Girls’ school (not as much as I would like). I work 8-4 and am home at night and on weekends. I make good money, and if we did not have so much debt, it would be enough. I am the one that takes care of the financial matters in our home and all in all I do well with what we have.

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be on the other side. You know...stay home and take care of the kids. But that is not really me, not what I want to do. I am always on the move, all the time.

Things would be great if money were not so tight all the time. John does a great job of taking care of the house and the kids. The stress for us comes from Finances. We live in a small city in Canada and life here is not as fast paced as one in a big metropolis. The cost of living is not that bad either. John did work till September of last year. Since then we have gone through our savings and things are getting really tight. We are now in the process of digging ourselves out of a bad business venture and are slowly paying back the debt we accumulated.

John and I made the decision to give up the business last year because it was a nightmare. We were falling deeper and deeper in debt and the reasons for keeping it going were all wrong. We were keeping it open for everyone else and we had to make the painful decision to close it and lay off all our employees.
As soon as we did that we felt like a weight was lifted from us. John’s health is not the best and staying home with the girls made sense at the time. Our third daughter is medically fragile and that too was a great reason for him to stay home.

Chapter one really hit home for me. I too am having a hard time writing my one sentence. The area of my life that I want to change is my ability to deal with my financial matters in a more responsible and productive way. I envision myself taking care of bills ahead of time. I want to be able to save money for the Girl’s education and to save for our retirement. I wand to get rid of my credit card debt. My life would be different because I would not have the guilt that I have now for having let thing get so bad. I would be able to sign the girls for dance class without having to worry about where the money is going to come from. The new outcome would serve me by allowing me to deal with all aspects of my finances without guilt or embarrassment. My one sentence would be that “I want to be able to feel good about being debt free knowing that I was able to achieve my goal with honesty and integrity”

I too am also working on my values and having a hard time with them. How did you do with the turning inward part in Chapter one? What is the one thing that you need to do to get to know yourself? I need to meditate and spend time with myself. I don’t get to do very much. Well I’ll go work on this some more and talk to you soon. I am glad we are back to work. Let try to keep this momentum going.

[LGB705]

Hi Elenar,

It sounds like you and your husband are good teammates - doing what needs to be done by the best one to do at the time. I think that was what my 1st marriage didn't have, but my 2nd one does. I am sure you will achieve your goal, because it sounds like you two support each other and buy into decisions.

To get to know myself better I will be taking time out for reflection each day. I have opportunities, so I just need to use them. I have also been journaling each day. It is very helpful.

Take care, Laura

[elenar]

Thanks Laura for putting a positive spin on my last post. I was a feeling alittle low when I wrote it. I am so gald now that I did write it because you are right. We are both working at things and doing the best we can with what we have. I am also glad that I wrote that sentence since then John has started to look for work and the very first place he called, had him in for an interview and he goes in for Orientation tonight. Pray for us that this works out.

I am so gald to be working on this book. It is hard work and sometimes I wonder what difernce is it going to make and then I see that it is all worth it. Lets keep working.

last night I read the chapter on how we give up our power. Wow, how true. never really looked at some of my behaviours in that way. But i could really relate to alot of those things.

[KenRamsy]

I need to shape up and avoid negative thoughts
Every time my wife has an idea, I seem to tell her why it wouldn't work
Many times she went ahead and did it anyway and with success too
My problem now is that we dont communicate enough.
The saving grace is that we still trust each other and that I see myself as the problem needing fixing. As I view it grace come to those who face life with a positive attitude. If I continually strive to impove my communications to her, I am sure that she will appreciate the changes and respond in kind. Right now my wife has loss much of the spark that she once had.

I just started reading the book and will look for ways to let grace come into my relationship with my wife.

Sorry if I didn't respond to the threads in this forum. I intended to point out some positive ideas in them and add to them, but got into my own problems instead. It is late and my wife resents me spending many hours on the computer. So I will come back at another time.

Second Thought
Some ideas for those looking to make a contribution
You save/make some money by using e-bay, clipping coupons, visiting yard sales starting a mail order business etc.
More importantly avoid negative feelings if at all possible and always watch for a chance to bring grace into your life. I come to this conclusion only after realizing my mistakes. Your relationship with your significant other will be enhanced if you do.

[KenRamsy]

John has started to look for work and the very first place he called, had him in for an interview and he goes in for Orientation tonight. Pray for us that this works out.

I am so gald to be working on this book. It is hard work and sometimes I wonder what difernce is it going to make and then I see that it is all worth it. Lets keep working.


I hope John is doing fine at his new job.
Re sticking with the book: My wife told me that I might change for the time being but I would most likely end up the same as before. I intend to stick with it and hope you do also. I am taking all the steps recommended even if my wife says its useless. Got to go, My wife needs me.

[elenar]

Hi Ken:

Welcome!! What book are you reading? We are reviewing the book"Stand up for your life".
Communication is very important between you and your wife. Keep working at it. Be positive and supportive. Good luck.

John is doing well at his new job. We are now trying to juggle the schedules since we are down to one vehicle.

[KenRamsy]

I got here because I'am reading "The Unmistakable touch of Grace" by Cheryl Richardson I will look for "Stand up for your life" so I can speak to the topic. Sorry I didn't realize that this

[LGB705]

Hi Elenar,

I am so glad to hear that John got the job! I hope it works out for him.

I have been busy with the family during Memorial Day. My oldest son turned 14 and on Monday he graduates from 8th grade, so we will do a dinner party for him Tuesday. I enjoy these events that bring the family together. Especially for a happy occassion.

I need to pick up speed on my reading. I stopped it when I needed to study for my final exam in class (good thing I just took one class!). I will get to it this weekend and post some more.

Take care and best wishes to you and John as you embark on the road to financial strength!!

Laura

[irishey532]

Good Morning
I am very new to this thought process of reaching out and sharing my feelings and am still trying to find my way. I know I want to make life changes but do not "trust" in my abilities to make it happen.

After reading The Unmistakeable Touch of Grace...I believe I need to locate a life coach. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[LGB705]

Life coaches can be found in your local area by looking in the yellow pages (some psychologists are also life coaches) or on the web by using keywords such as Life coach your city, your state. In my area at the gym there are small newspapers that promote various types of massage, healing, lifecoaching etc.

www.fearlessliving.com has a way to locate their coaches in your area (this was started by Rhonda Britten who is a life coach on the show "Starting Over". This is a great show and if you go to www.startingovertv.com you can find out when its on in your area. Just watching that show makes me feel like I have a life coach. It is GREAT! And free!

www.mentorcoach.com is a training institute, but if you contact them, they may also have members in your area.


Good Luck and enjoy the process. If you read Stand Up for Your Life you are more than welcome (and encouraged) to join us here for postings on our work and discovery!

Laura

[irishey532]

Laura,
Thank you very much for your help. I feel like my life needs to take a different direction and it is my hope that this is my path.
I will be checking out the links that you have provided and thank you for inviting me to join in on the reading.
Donna

[KenRamsy]

Laura,
Thank you very much for your help. I feel like my life needs to take a different direction and it is my hope that this is my path.
I will be checking out the links that you have provided and thank you for inviting me to join in on the reading.
Donna
I reached a reality check point in my marriage and thanks to Cheryl Richardson's book: "The Unmistakable Touch of Grace" by Cheryl Richardsonwhich I spotted at the local library, I was open to a change in perspective. I am thankful that I was led to view this as an opportunity to strengthen my marriage. I kept a positive attitude and communicated my love very patiently and sincerely to Kim and after several days feel that we avoided falling into a path of destruction. We had a very good rekindling of the love between us. I don't know which book you are reading but I went back to the library again and checked out two more books by Cheryl: "Life Makeovers" and "Take Time for Your Life". "Stand Up for Your Life" also by Cheryl was not on the shelf and I will have to try looking for it later. I would be willing to look for a Life Coach myself but Kim would have ot agree it is worth the cost first. The books in the library are free to check and after looking them over you can purchase one either new or used. There was wide range of books all with the Dewey system code 158.1. I checked out two books by Phillip C. McGraw (aka Dr. Phil): "Life Strategies" and "Self Matters". If Kim sees that I can avoid falling back into some of the old patterns, I believe she will be open to reading one of these books also. Two chapters which I recommend are 'We Teach People How to Treat Us' by Dr. Phil in "Life Strategies"; and 'Week 22: Friends, Facts and Faith' by Cheryl in "Life Makeovers". Basically we want to reinforced the positive and not the negative in our lives per the Dr. Phil message; and we as humans need to draw upon the knowledge and reinforcement of trusted friends if we have a habit that we need to change but lack the courage to do it alone. One thing Cheryl recommends is to find a friend, get the facts and seek the faith (strength) necessary to take action. Cheryl notes that most important to faith is the belief that even if things don't work out as planned, you are strong enough to have patience and perseverance to overcome any setback with the help of God's grace and friends. Remember doing nothing (my previous pattern) gains nothing. Hope you find this helpful.

[elenar]

Hi Laura:

I have been dragging my feet. I will picked up the book again tonight.
Hope to hear from you soon about your thoughts.

Talk to you soon

Elena

[LGB705]

Glad to be of help to you Donna! Good luck as you explore some new avenues.

KenRamsey, we are reading the book Stand Up for Your Life. Sounds like you've got some good reading there and perhaps you will get things on the track you desire.

The great thing about our lives is that they are "ours" and if we don't like them, we can change them.

I have some more reading before my next post.....right now I am about to attend my son's 8th grade graduation, we just got back from having his braces taken off. These milestones are always a double-edged sword for a sentimental mom like me, happy for him, sad my baby is growing up! I can't believe I am now the mother of a high school student...eeekkk. More midlife crisis. I went to a wedding this weekend of my husband's friend's daughter (the bride was 24, groom 30) I haven't been to a 1st wedding in many years - so it really brought back all the memories of my 1st wedding, the youth and innocence we start our adult lives with....wow. And the sadness of divorce and custody - who would have guessed? I am feeling old in every direction!

Well, perhaps I can find more life and meaning in my reading.

Take care all and I'll be back to you soon.

Laura

[KenRamsy]

Hello, I got the book titled “Stand Up for Your Life” and am working on chapter 1.

I am writing a journal and am defining who I am. As of today I am rating my performance over the past year in the categories under learn to trust your self.

1. How well do you honor your needs. Since I have stayed up very late to many nights and not gotten the exercise I need, give myself a low 4 out of 10. No make it a 5 since I don’t smoke and I don’t drink more than a glass of wine or a couple of beers a day and am not overweight.

2. When you make promises to yourself, do you keep them. Give me a 4 since I promise last January to keep a journal and to take care of the items listed under (1). I am only starting these changes these last couple of weeks and I had a relapse and stayed up until 12:45 am last night. That’s better. I use to stay up until 2 am some nights.

3. Can you trust yourself to make tough choices? Give me a 3. I tend to put off difficult decisions and don’t correct things at first when I know inside me that that they are being done wrong, just hoping that the contractor will realize his mistake and correct it himself later. I take the easy way out too many times.

4. Do you stand up for yourself when someone steps over your boundaries or acts in an inappropriate way? I avoid conflicts and pride my good character. If people take me for a patsy, so be it. I need work in this area also. Another 3.

That’s all for now. Hope to get 7’s and 10’s when I reevaluate my progress next month.

Ken

[KenRamsy]

LBG705, elenar and irishey532; I hope none of you are discouraged in your quest to improve your life. God bless you whereever life takes you.

LBG705, I too was divorced but now am happy in my second marriage and have 4 wonderful daughters who are each grown and married. Life does go on and you will have plenty of chances to enjoy your son's continued progress as I haved had with my two daughters from my first marriage even though my first wife kept custody during their late teens. I am a grandfather now and see my grand children about 2 times a year. I guess that I might add that I didn't get divorced until I was 44 and didn't remarried until I was over 50 and that my other two "daughters" are not my own, but those of my second wife. You are very young compared to me and have plenty of life to look forward to. I wish that I had made changes earlier in my life, and encourge you to keep your faith up. It is never too late.

I found chapter 1 of "stand up for your life" a little discomforting. Looks like chaper 2, defining your values will be a more positive read. I have several books that I am reading and plan to seek out some close friends who will encourage my progress.

I said that I had a negative attitude too often and I need to work on that. The problem is that I fear change too often. However, I do view everything that life gives me as an opportunity for growth. My goal is to have more courage and foresight and make the best use of those opportunities.

[KenRamsy]

My life values can best be expressed as

1 To nurture and teach (oneself first and others afterwards)
2 To be responsible and bold
3 To be thoughtful and compassionate
4 To make orderly and secure

I tried making my values complete and precise. I need to order in my life around these priorities and let go of the clutter. Most clutter can best be view as a failure to prioritized properly. Think of what preventing you from reaching priority number 4 and take action there first. Get or demand help there if necessary.

[KenRamsy]

Last week my mom suffered a stroke. On top of that she suffered a heart attack at the hospital. Her eyesight, which was poor before hand due to macular degenation and cateracts, seems to have worsen also as a result. She is also going to need intense rehab to regain the use of her left arm and leg if that is possible. My wife feels that she would get the best care if she moved in with us and we had technicians care for her in our home. We could watch and perform the same treatments while the technicians are not there. This would be a big commitment from us. Right now my mom is in a rehab center but it looks like she will need extended care. My wife's first husband died of cancer and needed care at home the last year of his life so my wife has been there before, but I am afraid that my wife is committing to this too freely. I feel that we can change our decision later if it becomes too stressful on us so I am inclined to agree. I need some information and advice.

[elenar]

I am so sorry to hear about your mom. I have not lost a parent nor have I been faces with the care of a parent. That is a big decision you are both faced with right now. It is hard to make such decisions without more information. What are doctors telling you? What does your mom want to do? What is best for your mom and yourselves? It is good that your wife is on board with this. Try to get as much information as you can. Know that any decision you make will lead you down a path of growth. I wish you the best in these trying times.

[KenRamsy]

Thanks for the advice. The rehab center where my mom is staying made its weekly meeting and recommendations of staff members today. My brother was there to but I had to spend a couple of nights and all day today to move my moms things out of her apartment. I hear from my wife that the rehab center made progress in that now my mom can feed herself. This is different from the first two weeks. They recommend that my mom gets at least 6 more weeks in the facility before she attempts to get home care as the center has more rehab equipment and expertise.
About the house where we moved mom's things to. Kim and I also just closed on that house and we will be moving in there too. Before mom's stroke, the idea was to have my mom live with us as she did not like living by herself in the apartment. It had gotten to a point where we visited my mom 3 or 4 times a week, and often we had to make space in our living room for mom to stay overnight with us because she had difficulty using our stairs, even before her stroke. The house is nearer to our daughters, but farther away (about a two hour drive from my brother and his family as opposed to a 40 minute drive after the previous move). Both arrangements, giving up our retirement plans to live in an area closer to our daughters but buying a house near my three brothers (now two since one retired in South Carolina); so that mom could be moved nearby or in the latter case, to move mom in with us are sort of a give and take to keep Kim happy while not being too far from my brothers. My two younger brothers each have a younger family and must still work. Kim and I are retired so it made sense for mom to be near or with Kim and I. Of course there has always been a loving bond between my second wife and my mom since I introduced the two about 8 years ago.
I know my brother doesn't like the adverse impact of having mom so far away. But he rarely made a 40 minute drive to visit my mom, even though he saw to it that his family have a "family tradition" of honoring mom and his children's grandmother on holidays about two or three times a year. Don's wife has not like Kim ever since the first move and even told Kim that she was only interested in money and that the neighborhood where we moved to the last time was a lower-class neighborhood. I myself have been torn between my love for Kim and my respect for Don and his wife so I would not be surprised if Don is similarly trapped.
Anyway I just wanted you to know that everything has become more complicated.
The present plans are for mom to stay with rehab until such time that she can get the same benefit by living with us. That is my mom's wish also, and she has given me the power of attorney since 1992.
P.S. My niece told me that it will take months or years before we should start thinking that no more recovery is possible. She has experience in this area with another family member. I should call her again as I haven't spoken to her since a couple of Sundays ago. I need to get more details on everything and to report to distant family members. This will be the main thing on the do list for tomorrow.

[KenRamsy]

Ok. I found out that the insurance company won't cover my moms rehabilitation apparently because they decided that my mom will always need constant care. We will consult with professional geriatric care managers to fight this decision.

My brother's mother-in-law needed nursing home care before and things were so bad in the first home they, they decided to move his mother-in-law back to her apartment and to get home care for her. It took some effort to get the nursing home to agree to release his mother-in-law but my brother was persistent and they reluctantly agreed. However, on the day of discharged my brother said his mother-in-law was very weak and unable to function. My brother felt that that was odd, and from what he had seen before he decided that his mother-in-law must have been drugged. Sure enough, after they got his mother-in-law back to the apartment and got home care, his mother-in-law got her senses back and became totally alert and able to function. Something like that is happening here but I believe it to be related to my mom's attitude and not to any drugs.

You see, Kim and I have all commented to my mom on how well brother's mother-in-law was doing with home care with my brother taking time to visit before and after work to feed her and with hired help to see her a couple of hours during the day, and that when they finally made the necessary decision to put her in a home permanantly how soon her health deteriorated rapidly and she died within a year. We always told my mom that we would always be there for her and not let that happen to her. When it became apparent that my mom needed rehabilitation after her stroke my brother told me told me that if mom needed nursing rehab that she should be moved to the nursing home where his mother-in-law stayed during her final days. What he didn't tell me was his story of his past experiences with nursing homes and that affected my decision then but my decision now has changed.

My wife and I had asked about homes near us and a lot of people recommeded one near the hospital which was also close to us. Since we were aware of how soon my brother's mother-in-law died after being moved to the first nursing home, and since the second nursing home was nearer to us and highly recommended, my wife and I decided to move mom to the latter nursing home at least temporarily. But the home we chosed had no room for her, so I signed the papers at the hospital releasing my mom to another nursing home near us, with the understanding that she would moved again if other space became available.

My brother was surprised and disappointed at my decision. But after I told him my reasons, he then then he told me his story of their experiences with nursing homes and his mother-in-law. My brother's wife checked all the nursing homes in our area after their first bad experience and listed all their pros and cons and decided the one they chose would provide the best care for her mom. As my brother explained, the nursing home can only do so much if the patient resisted care as his mother-in-law did. Regardless, he said it is always important to visit and monitor the care as much as possible. While the nursing home they selected was not near their home, it was within minutes of his job and he managed to visit almost every day until she died. My brother said the care they gave to his mother-in-law and other patients was exceptional.

Since this nursing home was connected to the Catholic church, I decided I would at least talk to the people there, because I felt that if I asked honest questions about my moms care needs and what to expect that they could give me the necessary guidance to make the best decision. I also knew that Kim and I wanted to move to a three bedroom rambler or at least to a house where my mom could have a bedroom on the ground floor. I trusted that they would honestly advised my of pros and cons of home care versus nursing home care. Kim wanted to set up a home care program and I was leaning to the nursing home route. We have already in fact signed a contract for purchase of a rambler with the thought that mom would move in with us but that was before my mom had her stroke. Since the owner gave us an addendum to sign to request more time for the settlement date, I felt also that it would be possible for us to back out and find a more appropriate area for us and for my mom's medical needs if she were to move in with us or another nursing home near us.

My wife agreed that the nursing home Don and his wife had selected was probably very good but that we could provide the best care and should not back out of the sales contract and that it would be no problem to move again if necessary. In the mean time we checked around about how the move to another state would affect insurance coverage for my mom and were told that it had no effect. So from what Don had told us, Kim and I decided to go the home care route and move our mom into our new home. We made the right decision. My mom now does not eat for the nursing home staff but does when we feed her. Also, it appears that my mom's condition changed from one of doing exercises and improving her strength to one of sleep and health maintainance. Also, I found out that Kim was self concious about her sister-in-law's statement that Kim did not care about anything but money, so when the a consultant for the insurance company happen to visit at the nursing home when Kim was there spoon feeding my mom, Kim stressed how much she had help my mom in the past even before mom's stroke; right there within hearing of my mom. So I don't blame the insurance company for their current decision. Nor do I blame my mom for deciding that it was hopeless and that she was a burden to us. I will stress to my mom that there is good hope for her to become more independent and that we love her for her valuable opinions on matters affecting us. If my mom has to pay for care we will make sure that the money is spent only for rehab and reasonable medical and personal care and housing costs. Most of all we can best see to it that mom gets the loving care that she needs to become confident and independent as much as possible.

I know that Kim and I can best provide this care with the help of a geriatric care manager. These are professionals that visit a person who is elderly or disabled to monitor their care or needs, and to report back to the family their knowledgeable recommendations if necessary. If you are uncertain about what to do or live to far away from a loved relative to know, I highly recommend considering their help. I have yet to do so but intend to contact one as soon as possible so they can see my mom's progress and help us fight the insurance company as well as to make reports to mom's other family members. See http://www.caremanager.org. Also see http://www.makoa.org/caregiver.htm.

[mrsgoethert]

God bless you Ken. You have quite a bit on your plate. I suppose this is probably the best time for you to deal with this, as you are learning about grace and the other principles for sane living at this time. I'm sure you notice that the minute you decide to do something, the universe will throw something on your path to see how commited you are. Keep your chin up. It sounds to me that you are an earth angel...

Hello to everyone. I'm sorry, I just sorta put this on the back burner and nearly forgot about it. However, I'm back and now quite prepared to recommit.

One area of my life that I'd like to change is my weight. I'm 5'6" and weigh about 140. Up until about 4 years ago, I weighed about 125. I took a job that I hated/and loved at the same time and ended up weighing 143 by the time it ended. I've had a hard time loosing the weight, when I had a lightbulb moment. I am holding on to many resentments and unforgiveness to my old boss. So, the outcome I'd like to see is that I loose at least 10 lbs. and forgive my boss. This will affect my life in that my old clothes will fit again, I'll feel better about myself and I won't be dragging around my old boss baggage. Forvigness always serves the person that is forgiving, so there will probably be many befefits that I will see in the future that I can't realize now. So, I am standing in peace, wearing my favorite jeans and feeling comfortable. That is what I envision. So my sentence would read "I am free of extra weight and unloving thoughts."

That's it for today. I promise to be back soon.

[LGB705]

Over the 2 yrs I've been at home, I've said "yes" to just about everything that I've been asked to do - volunteering at the the boys schools, church things, and lots of other things. When my dad got sick, I really had a chance to clear my days in order to spend his final days with him. Now I have an opportunity NOT to go back to all the things I was so frantically running around doing, but to really weigh each committment and make sure it is a good use of my time, energy and brings value to my life.

I've been away most of the summer and I've really had a lot of time to be with my sons, out of town and out of reach of requests.

So that is something for me to work on, when I return 8/28 to real life, I want to learn not to respond yes immediately, but to take the time to get back to people. As I learned in my father's fast illness and death, life can be too short or end unexpectedly. Time is precious!

[ISOPeace]

Howdy,
New to this site... hope I'm doin' this right. My immed issue is clutter. Letting go of "stuff." Sticking to priorities. Exercising daily. I've got a set of Cheryl's tapes and they call for a buddy to check in with. Anyone available who's got the same issues... or advice on how I can proceed?

Thanks!

ISOPeace

[elenar]

Hi ISO and everyone:

I too have put this on the back burner. I checked in today and got up to speed with what everyone has written. I am glad to see the string is still here.

I am off work on Vacation right now and have taken on the task of decluttering. Wow what a great feeling to get rid of so much junk. The trips to memory lane are ok...painful at times but i am getting through it. I am so ready to make room for new and exiting things in my life. I was just telling John that I want to start getting up early to do Yoga. It is really neat to hear that you are working on some of the same things. I'll be glad to work on these things with you. I'll start tomorrow with the exercise and continue with the decluttering.
My advice is to take it slow. You'll get the hang of it and get momentum. If you have not used it in two years......give it to someone that will.

Talk to you soon