hope4me
07-09-2003, 05:30 AM
I woke up early this morning and decided not to go into work. I opened up my computer and found Cheryl Richardson's newsletter about Faith and I was astounded how the Universe directs us in times of deep despair.
Instead of allowing my depression to take over, I found an outlet by focusing on Cheryl's newsletter and decided to join this forum. I have read everyone's posts in regards to Faith and now have the word "Faith" posted all over my apartment. Instead of focusing on my depression I am channeling my focus on Faith. This is really hard and takes energy to do this. It would be soo very easy to give into my feelings of depression, it takes more work to focus on Faith.
My darkest day of the year was yesterday. I lost my edge at work by reacting to long term frustration which may cost me my job. I sent out an email, in frustration voicing my opinion and to my dismay it was used against me. Initially I was fired and as I started to clean out my desk I was informed I could keep my job but would be put on 30 days probation. I work in a "fire at will state". I have worked very hard at my career and in one single moment I may have damaged it, or at least for this job which I really need due to recent serious financial difficulties. To loose my job would mean bankruptcy.
The hopeless, helpless feels are inking back into my life. I have struggled soo hard to build up my life so that I can float above these feelings. It seems everytime I get my life back on track I get derailed.
I am very disappointed in what I have done to myself. I really let myself down.
Instead of allowing my depression to take over, I found an outlet by focusing on Cheryl's newsletter and decided to join this forum. I have read everyone's posts in regards to Faith and now have the word "Faith" posted all over my apartment. Instead of focusing on my depression I am channeling my focus on Faith. This is really hard and takes energy to do this. It would be soo very easy to give into my feelings of depression, it takes more work to focus on Faith.
My darkest day of the year was yesterday. I lost my edge at work by reacting to long term frustration which may cost me my job. I sent out an email, in frustration voicing my opinion and to my dismay it was used against me. Initially I was fired and as I started to clean out my desk I was informed I could keep my job but would be put on 30 days probation. I work in a "fire at will state". I have worked very hard at my career and in one single moment I may have damaged it, or at least for this job which I really need due to recent serious financial difficulties. To loose my job would mean bankruptcy.
The hopeless, helpless feels are inking back into my life. I have struggled soo hard to build up my life so that I can float above these feelings. It seems everytime I get my life back on track I get derailed.
I am very disappointed in what I have done to myself. I really let myself down.