How Do You Maintain Group Members?

[MrNBPT]

The group of which I'm part has had trouble holding onto its members over the past 18 months, and I was wondering if that's typical of these Life Makeover groups. There are just three of us who have stuck it out from the very beginning. Along the way we've had a number of nice people join us, only to drop out a few sessions later. Why is this?

In our group we've tried to follow the Life Makeover group guidelines as closely as possible. We always encourage everyone to speak and we also try to share the facilitation dutes as much as we can. Sometimes the group just seems "stuck." We're looking for ideas to reignite the spark that got us going in the first place. One idea was to meet occasionally at some place informal for coffee or pizza rather than getting togehter in a meeting room. Think this will encourage participation?

Part of the problem seems to be commitment: People are OK with buying the books, but when it comes to actually working with the material and doing the real work involved, they give up. They're just not ready to invest the time needed to bring up the changes they say they want to make.

Final question: As the lone male member of our group. I'm wondering if men are just plain scared to become involved with groups like this. We've received several inquiries from men about joining our group, but nobody has had the courage to take that first step yet. Any thoughts on this?

Regards,
MrNBPT

[Nancy B]

Lots of good questions!

First, did everyone agree to the guidelines when you started? Sometimes people need to be included in this part so that everyone is in agreement.

Is the group clear about what each individual wants to get out of the group?
There may be different goals and while that's OK, some people may feel they can't get their needs met in certain groups.

Is one person doing most of the talking?
Timing the amount each person speaks is important. Someone taking over and talking too much is the number one way to loose members.

Are people giving advice rather than speaking from their experience?
Giving advice says: 'I know more than you.' Speaking from our experience says: 'This is what happened to me, maybe it will be useful to you.

Are you focusing on problems rather than moving forward?
Focusing on problems keeps us stuck. Keep the group positive!

Have you asked?
People who leave usually have reasons. Asking openly for the good of the group what the reasons are can sometimes bring insights that others can't see.

Do you start with success stories of what member's have accomplished since the last meeting?
An inspiring way to get unstuck!

If none of these ring a bell there may be a chance that people simply aren't committed and that what you have is a core group that is. Treasure each other!

This is a new idea for guys. You're a pioneer, encourage others. They'll come when they're ready.

Anyone else out there have some feedback or ideas?