PDA

View Full Version : Never Ending Circle Of Problems Plez Help


mmommy
07-27-2003, 07:14 PM
I am really new to this site and am looking for some good advice. I am single mother of a wonderful 5 year old son, I have a good job and a nice family and a few good friends. Last year I recevied some very devestating news, I discovered that my best friend of several years had started seeing the father of my son, while we were still together. It has been one of the most awful experiances I have ever been through, this past year I have been going through the whole back and forth thing with this man which I feel alot has to do with my own stupidity, if he done it once he would do it again. Now this ex friend of mine has what seems like taken on a personal mission to just destroy me both of them her and him as though this whole mess that they started was some how my fault. It seems to be just awful, I have this child that cannot figure out why his daddy has left us to be with this other women and her children, my son asks about his father all the time, and it brakes my heart, I must admit I am lost for words the majority of the time. This whole situation has made it uncomfortable around my ex's family they don't know what to say and I don't know what to say to them even though it has been a year it seems like the situation doesn't get any better. Now this once friend of mine is pregnant and going to be soon having a baby with my son's father and although they are supposed to a couple my son's father will call sometimes and tell my how much he still loves me, he gets drunk and tries to come to my home and I have let him a few times because I am lonely and still somewhat devestated by this whole thing. Lately though he has been calling and I haven't been taking his calls, I am just tired of the whole situation it makes me sick to think about really it does. It seems like no that I am not dealing with him at all on any level it just fuels him to talk awful about me to people, we have a lot of mutual friends, now all the sudden the situation that he and my ex friend have is supposed to be perfect and he even calls my very close friends to tell them how great his life is, why??? I truly can't imagine why this man is so excited about having this baby with this women who lived with HIS best friend for about 2 months a few months before my ex decieded it was his turn, she has two other children by 2 other men she has a severe drinking problem and is very loud and obnoxious. When he has 2 other children not including my son that he dosen't support in anyway shpae or form, plus my son that I haven't recevied any childsupport for since 2001?
Anyways I want to change my life I want to make things better for my son and me. I feel like this is something that I have no choice but to do, either I can sit and mope and feel sorry for my self or I can make things better and move on. I am a very intelligent young women this I know it just seems like I feel so tired and feel burnt out like I am just tired of trying. I can't seem to get motivated I feel like I am in a cirle that never ends. Any advice would be greatly appreiciated.

maxcol
07-29-2003, 02:50 AM
The whole thing sounds ghastly and must be taking its toll on you although it seems you are already on the right track and probably don't really need anyone else's advice, just some support perhaps. There is one thing you may like to think about though, and that is to not invite any information from any of your friends about your ex-partner's current relationship, maybe you could actually go further and specifically ask them not to give you any, because you are wanting to now move on with your life.

You mention that you feel exhausted by it all and I can understand why. However, as a solo Mum myself (daughter now an adult) I know it is important to make your health your No.1 priority because you will need good health to move forward and also take care of your child. Take particular notice of eating a well-balanced nutritious diet and getting adequate sleep. Plan a few things for yourself also, like arranging to have a friend look after your son for at least 4 hours a week so you can have a break. You could do the same for her as well perhaps. You are on the right track by not wanting to dwell on things any more and I think that is the key.

Best Wishes