Old friends

[kmd2210]

Hi all - I could really use a suggestion or two. I have an old college friend who is home for the summer and would like to get together. I love and care about this person but seeing him just drains my energy. He has so many problems that an evening with him is exhausting. He gives long monologues about his problems and shows little interest in my life and what I'm doing. While I care about him, I do not want to spend my precious spare time and energy with him. How can I kindly say I don't want to get together? Just being "busy" seems wrong. Does anyone have any suggestions? Thanks very much.

[Maureen]

Hi, KMD.

What about telling him, in a caring way, how you feel when he goes on about his problems and doesn't seem interested in you.
You don't have to make him into a "bad guy" rather let him know how drained you feel. This could be helpful to him and if you two really are meant to be friends, then it will move you forward....and if not....you can move on. The truth isn't always easier, but it is simpler in the long run. If you feel uncomfortable about telling the "truth" then let him know that and how concerned you are about his feelings. Hope this helps.

Maureen