3 yr vet, ups & downs

[GO4GR8]

I started our LM group almost 3 years ago and it has seen many changes and weathered some storms and has become very strong. One thing I would caution groups about, it can be very easy for a strong member of the group to naturally lead the group all of the time. That is not what is inteneded. That happened in our group and it was me. Some members said they were not comfortable leading. I gave them time and now everyone shares the responsibility. It has made the experience so rich having others take turns. People are growing and learning and supporting each other. We made it very safe for everyone. The changes in the lives have been spectacular including mine. There were times when only 2 people would be there but we stayed committed. It's one of the best parts of my week meeting with my group. Let yourself know that joining a makeover group was a very wise thing you did and be commited to your success and the success of the other members and you too will have a wonderful experience. Best wishes.

[Abundantmum]

The draw to leadership is a fine balance for sure. The balance I expereinced lay bettween, doing vs. being with the group. It was the few times of 'doing' that got me in trouble.

One of the pieces I have witnessed is the possible need for closure by members. This is an area I have been sharring about in our past meetings. Over the three years is that there have been - core people committed , some have stayed on, others have not returned but feel they still remain a part of the group. This has caused some cross boundaries on the issue of confidentiality inour group.

This year I facilitated a formal graduation for the group, along with a questionaire asking about the commitment to a new year. It appears to have gone over well.

Hands down the process of group and direction of LM work, works!

K

[GO4GR8]

You have very creative ideas. Having the committment and an open heart will take a group a long way and into many wonderful experiences. Congratulations to your group!
-D

[Nancy B]

GO4GR8,

I hope everyone reads your message. It is powerful and wise. When we think we're the only ones that can lead, when we buy into other's holding back rather than encouraging and nourishing them we do everyone a disservice. The group also stops being a place where we get support and becomes a place where we only give. Not healthy for any of the group members.

Thanks so much for sharing your wisdom.

[Gayle]

Our group of 4 is 3 years old and I have some problems with getting the others to share leadership. I'm away during Feb/March and the others just get together for dinner and a social evening waiting for me to come back and give direction.
Our rules are that we rotate meetings in each of our homes. The hostess is the facilitator/leader for the evening and provides light snacks.

We finished the LM book and I find the weekly newsletters and good for homework assignments and discussion. But the others do not really plan for their meetings and we will just have a social evening. We only meet about twice a month and one of our group travels extensively and cannot make all the meetings. I feel ready to challenge the others to come up with plans for their meetings and communicate these in advance we we can come prepared to discuss specific topics.

None of us are seeking major changes in our lives. We just want to lead our best lives, fully and productively and be available to support each other as needed. We are all mature women.

Any ideas on sharing leadership more effectively?
Gayle

[Nancy B]

Gayle,

It sounds like you're ready for a new level of commitment. You're right that it doesn't work when only one person facilitates a group that's set up for all to be equals. The facilitator very often gets cheated out of getting her needs met and the other members, often without realizing get cheated out of the opportunity to stretch and grow.

That being said, we all have different talents and gifts. Not everyone is able to research newsletters and design homework assignments easily. So here are some questions and ideas that might make it easier to ease the others into shared facilitation or at least decide on where the group is to go.

1. Share your feelings with the group with grace and love.
Let them know what you are feeling and what your frustration is, as well as what your vision for the group is. (You may want to share your message and this reply with them too).

2. Let the group discuss your comments and feelings . Do they share them? Have they noticed? Are they happy with the way things are? Be sure everyone gets fully heard.

3. If everyone is up for taking the group to the next level have a brainstorming session about how that can best be done. Perhaps you'll decide to do another book so there's more structure and a planned outline of meeting content and homework. Perhaps the group will decide on the next meeting's topic at the end of this meeting. Perhaps you'll all come up with something wild, crazy, and totally unique. (Hope you'll share it with all of us here :)

4. Perhaps the group will decide they want to become a social group or that its time to disband. There's no right answer except for the one you all agree on.

Telling the truth with love, facing the truth with love, looking for win win solutions with love lead to all of us living our best lives, fully and productively and being truly available to support each other as needed. Now that's mature women!

Love to hear other possibilities from groups who have faced similar challenges!