No money is overwheming me and stressing me out

[StarTrek2003]

I am new to this board and really need some advice. I have been having trouble paying my bills since my job has slowly cut my hours from 60 hours a week to 15. Now I have a credit card payment of $370, since I have not been able to pay it for the past 2 months. Also a car registration payment of $200, a car payment of $200, and a weekly rent payment of $81.25. I get paid every two weeks. My paycheck last week was $160. I have sold everything I can to pawn shops for the past 2 months. I can't sleep at night worrying about these bills that I don't know how to pay. I have also been looking for another job, but that is going nowhere. I am tired of worrying about every bill that comes along, if I will have the money to pay it on time or late again. I am just holding my breath, waiting until the day when I lose everything because of no money.

Thanks for your time !

-Bryan

[skaycee]

Hi Bryan...happened across your post and am sorry to hear of your circumstances. The first thing you need to do is to call or write letters to places where you owe money and explain your situation to them. With regard to finding a new job, what kind of work do you now do, and what are you willing to do for awhile to pay the bills until you can get back into your field? There are lots of jobs around, but they may not be what you want to do. However, they will pay the bills until you get situated again. You might be able to pay $50 on a $200/month bill, rather than 0, but even that will help. If you've explained to your creditors what you're trying to do, they often will work with you. Pay your rent and take care of yourself until you get out of debt. It may take more time to find the job that you really want. Please don't wait until things are even more out of control. And please do have faith that things won't always be like this. We all take certain paths, make certain decisions in our lives, in order to learn about ourselves. This won't last forever, and you will definitely grow from the experience. Good luck! I'll check back for a post from you here.

[StarTrek2003]

I have been working at K-Mart for 2 years. Now I can no longer afford even basic needs such as gas for my car, groceries, car insurance and rent. Why look for jobs when I have been doing that for the past 2 months? It doesn't work for me. My rent is due this Friday and I have $29.00 in my checking account. Is there a job that will pay me $200 a day with no experience? I have contacted my creditors and they can't lower my payment or put me on a hardship program. I just don't have the money. I have sold everything I can in pawn shops trying to pay normal bills. I haven't spent any money on myself in about 2 months, just on bills. But having over $800 of bills that have to be paid in the next week does not help me be calm and relaxed. I don't have anything left to sell and I am applying for jobs. What am I going to do? Be homeless and without transportation. I live 10 minutes away from work. I just got out on my own a year ago and already I am about to be homeless.

-Bryan

[StarTrek2003]

Doesn't anyone care about my situation? That I am going to be homeless in a week unless money starts coming back into my life really fast ? I am beginning to believe that nothing is possible for me anymore. That I have to just suffer through everything. No help or money has come my way in about a month. I hate the sleepless nights, the constant worrying if this time I will have enought to finally pay off these bills once and for all.

-Bryan

[AustinJennifer]

Hey Bryan,

What do you think you ought to do in this situation? Perhaps now that your situation has changed you will need to change your living circumstances. Maybe you can't afford to rent that place or maybe you can't afford to have your car anymore and need to find public transportation or ride to work with a coworker? If you're only working 15 hours/week do you need to stay at that job? Or in that area? How about moving somewhere that you have support? In with family? Friends??

If what you are doing is not working, you may need to change what you are doing.

I do care but I need more information,
jennifer

[RAYOFLIGHT4DI]

Keep trying to find another job. Have some faith that things will change. I've been there and I've learned that in a disaster/problem there is a lesson to learn a lesson to remember. Pause for a moment, think if there is someone, family members or friends that can help you if not with a small loan for the rent (yu know a little collection here n there,I know thats hard...just an idea, something I did) or if not, how about with temporary living arrangements so you can get back on track, keep applying for jobs....lets say maybe a second job or a new job with more hours/more pay. I can understand your situation as I've been there and still working to recuperate since my spouse job has gone through lay-offs, relocations and pay-cuts. Having spent countless sleepless nights thinking of where/how am I going to get money to pay the rent, car,food,etc...and I've said I don't ever want to go through hell again yet everyday is a struggle and I have learned plenty from it... to not lose my faith...even if things get worse better they get better:)

[lynn]

I read your story, and have been there.....what you need to do is find a job that will pay you, that will use you....find your way to a busy busy resturaunt, and Serve! Make somebody believe in you, but first you have to believe in you.....If you find a reputable place to serve people, they will pay you,,,every day,,,,,,,I have been there...and you have to sometimes do what you dont like, to get the rent paid,,,,the food bought, and the electric to stay on....so waitering, waitressing, and service industry positions, with tips is something to think about....But you have to beleive it will work, before it will work,,,,keep the faith, and God Bless!!!

[mare829]

Hey Bryan!

I feel for you and so understand. I am presently unemployed, have 3 children left at home. My mortgage payment...well that would only depress us even more.

Take a step! Go to you local unemployment office. You may qualify for partial unemployment compensation. While at this office look into/ ask about alternatives. There is a wealth of training and help that is there for the taking! If you are of low income, due to your situation, you are in a position to be eligible for various training programs. Hey this might just be a message to you that you are on the road to a new career!

Homelessness you have mentioned! And that is definitely how dispair/negativity/low self esteem will creep in to your head when the creditors are calling. They make us feel lower than life! Damage your self esteem! BUT remember, you will come out of this by taking steps in a different direction. The path may look scary and seem lonely but know that it is towards a brighter light. Keep moving! Don't let the worry, the calls, the negativity get you down.

Priorities! The priority is you. Then you housing (rent). Then food. Then maybe transportation/gas/car payment. The others will HAVE to wait. You are not the only person in this situation so please remember DO NOT TAKE IT PERSONAL when the creditors call. Maybe get caller id or an answering machine. Don't pick up the phone if need be.......until you have the mental stablility to deal with their harrassment.

I really understand and am in the same situation. At this time I am going to my local Community College to receive Career Guidance. Look around their are people that want to help you. You just have to be willing to ask and receive. Another idea, look in the phone book, look for a state licensed credit counseling agency. They are legit and will help you get back on your feet.

The best of luck and I will keep your good fortune in my thoughts!
Mare

[Saldar]

Hello! Coping with money on an emotional and mental level is "near and dear to my heart". I've been in panicky situations a few times in my life so I can relate to what you are feeling. One time neither my husband or I were working. We had a mortgage, loans and credit cards coming out of our ears! I remember sitting outside at night, honestly seeing us living in a tent shortly and trying to figure out who I could send my daughter to live with when that happened! A lot of people have given you some good practical advice. It all boils down to "What are you willing to do?" Sometimes it is very hard for us to pull out of our comfort zone, even when that comfort zone is detrimental to us. Also, I've proved to myself time and time again that faith is the most important thing we can have to get us through tough times. I've also seen time and time again how everything happens for a reason...it is just hard to see at the time. The most detrimental thing we can do for ourselves is WORRY! I know it is much easier said than done but believe me... it works!!! Ask yourself, does worrying really accomplish anything other than make you feel lousy? If worrying worked, we'd all have perfect lives!!! It is SO important to try and find a way to let go of worry. I cannot stress that enough! Worrying clogs up your mind and doesn't leave room for solutions to come in. A quiet mind is an open and receptive mind. Just as Cheryl says, your thoughts are like magnets!!!!! Best of luck! My thoughts are with you!!!

[mschmit51]

Bryan-
The first thing you have to do is get out of the fear. I was laid off for the 2nd time in 18 months, on my birthday 4 months ago. One thing that has helped me over the years and now is that I learned to meditate. The next thing is that if you get what you focus on...so focus on what you want, NOT on what you don't want; because whatever your focus is what you will draw to you.

I know this is going to sound simplistic, but I've been through; and am going through a very similar problem. A book I've found very helpful is called "Love is Letting Go of Fear" by Jampolski.

So figure out what you want...is it a better job? If so, ask yourself why, and keep asking why...When you get the answers..."so I can take care of myself," so I can meet my obligations, so I can build a better life for myself...." As you develop those answers, you (hopefully) will generate internal excitement about what you DO want...and focus on that.

Bryan, I have been out of work for 4 months, and before that from 1/31/02 to 12/1/02...and somehow I've managed to meet my obligations and still have a little fun....and my monthly expenses run betwee $2500-$3000. I used to make $45k plus compensation. And somehow I'm still doing ok. If you can focus on what you want, and get rid of the fear in your gut, you will be able to come up with some ways of solving your situation.

For instance, if you can't move in with someone, how about getting a roommate? Also, don't know what your interests are but there are trade unions that will train you; and pay while you learn. Here in Arizona, there is a huge demand for construction workers and landscape workers... Maybe check out some of the homebuilders in your area and see if they have any need of unskilled labor...with potential for training....

Also, many states have free job counseling from the state, the unemployment office closest to me has a networking group that meets every week... Check out some of the local colleges and see if they can steer you to some kind of job/career counseling group.

If you do just a little every day, things will start to feel better and then get better. But as long as you're paralyzed with fear, you won't be able to function...believe me I've been there...and continue to fight it... So meditate, pray, whatever your belief system indicates, but use that to focus on what you WANT...
Love and Light-
Marcia

[sherelle1]

Dear Bryan,

You sound like you live in a rural area where there are not a lot of job opportunities. I have been where you are and I know how you feel. If someone would just give you what you need to get by, things would get better. No one can be as bad off as you are. These were my thoughts. I got angry and depressed over it. I felt helpless and alone. Money itself had a hold on me and I placed all of my importance on having "things". I would ask you to let go of things, even the basic essentials. I know that sounds like an impossible request, but there is a lesson of growth going on here. I had to move in with my brother, file bankruptcy and start over. I don't recommend the bankruptcy, especially since you have just gotten started, but I do recommend trying to find someone who would let you share their home until you get on your feet.

Also Bryan, have you thought about school or training in a specialized field? I don't know how old you are or what your financial situation is, but even a community college would be a great start. Stick to an accredited school.

Bryan, if money is worrying you and having a decent income is important, you have to take a step to be able to generate more income for yourself. You may have to move to an area where jobs are more plentiful and available. There are many options and this is just the tip of the iceberg. Please know that many people care and understand, but so many are almost in the same boat you are in. Don't be angry at them. This is something you have to try to do for yourself. I don't mean that in a bad way. I'm speaking from experience.

[2dreamagain]

Hi, I have been struggling with my finances for a long time. For me I learned I needed to grow up and face my responsibilities. I needed to face my bills, learn to overcome my love for shopping-buying new things to make me feel better eventhough I know I don't need it ect.

A few years ago I got involved with a credit counciling service called Genius-give them a call, they work with your credit cards to create one payment for all. I owed over $5000 and my monthly payment was $177! You will need a checking or savings account.

After that I came to accept that I cannot have a checking account. I cannot balance a checkbook. I cash my paychecks at the grocery store and I get my money orders there (their fees are less then bounced check or overdraft fees). I make a list in my datebook as to what bills need to get paid from which paycheck.

Please let me know if this helps.

[Caroline]

Bryan,

Look at the wonderful inputs you attracted! Put your wants and babystep goals out here to the universe.....attract good things!

Please let us know what you are doing and how you are feeling.
We are all interested and care.

[2dreamagain]

My wake up call was when I got my new computer. Microsoft Money came with it. I plugged in all my credit card bills, along with what I was making and discovered simply by making the minimum payments My $5000 debt would turn into over $30, 000! With interest ect. It would also take me until 2036 to pay it off! This and unemployment was my financial turning point. I ended up selling some stock I inherited to pay most of it off. I still owe quite a bit.

Also, have you called the credit card companie(s)? Many will work with you to get paid.

Job hunting stinks! How is your resume? There are many websites that have great tips on resume writing. There maybe a library work shop or the Department of Labor might be able to help. They can also help you with the art of interviewing. When you walk in can they see despiration? Are you confident?

Good luck.

[StarTrek2003]

I got paid this week from K-Mart and got $427.00 on my paycheck. Which is going to a credit card payment, phone bill, my parents(loan for rent), and a cash advance that I took out to pay my car insurance last month. Which leaves me about $15 for gas. I don't have enough for my car payment or other credit card. My car payment is due before October 12 or my car will be taken away. My other credit card is 3 months past due with the minimum payment and late fees totaling $507. Also my car registration is already 2 months past due. How am I going to do this ? I have not been aware of my feelings or my intuition in my life. How do I solve this problem? I have been looking for jobs but no one is hiring me. I need a full time job if I am ever going to catch up on these late bills and begin to pay off my credit cards.
I am a very shy person and don't have any friends. I wouldn't even know where to begin to ask people for help. Every time I try to talk to anyone, I get really nervous and forget what I am going to say. Usually what the original thought was in my mind never gets expressed. It gets so twisted and messed up that it sounds stupid and wrong.

-Bryan

[2dreamagain]

As I said, call the credit card companies. They will work with you! If any of them were cancelled ask them for a settlement amount. They would rather some money than no money.

I don't like asking for help either but, you are asking us for help! When are your credit card payments due? If you can, put a small portion of money aside out of each paycheck, then you don't have to take it all out of one check. For myself, I before hand I write down everything that is due that week, I cash my checks at the grocery store, I get my money orders right then and there. So far this has been the only system to work for me.

I worked retail for 13 years. My first full-time job I brought home $117 a week! $100 went towards rent, $10 went for bus fair and I had $7 for groceries! And I was told I made too much for Food Stamps! I went back to school, got an associates degree, I can't find a job in my field. It is frustrating! I'm now making $7.75 an hour working data entry, this job was out of survival. I am really struggling. It is so overwhelming. But I also know there are people who have it even harder than I do.

[Caroline]

Hi Bryan....You have taken good baby steps toward working through this. Thanks for giving us all an update.....I was so glad to see you have not lost faith in the power of the community support boards!

I found this quick tip on Monster.com boards.....I believe this one thing ( which is very difficult for some) is a GREAT technique for helping establish connections. Connections help establish relationships which helps establish friendships. Its aso VERY, VERY effective in job hunting and interviewing.

Quick Tip Heard on the Boards
Look Them in the Eyes
Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of nonverbal communication and can make a significant difference in how you present yourself. If you look away when speaking to someone, you're viewed as lacking confidence or interest. If you have a problem looking into your interviewer's eyes, try looking at the “third eye” right above and between the eyes.

-- Carole Martin


I have had great results using this technique!

[slewis234]

bryan, one thing i know from experience is that if you pay the cards or debtors something, even if it's just one dollar, they have to take your payment and they will still call you with harrassing we want your money type calls, but they have to still work with you. if you don't pay anything or don't contact them, they will eventually turn your over to collection agencies. that's not good. they are even worse to deal with.
pay them something, even 5.00 a month if possible, pay the rent, and is it possible to find a ride with someone from work? maybe that you could repay the favor later on? or what about public transportation? our bus system has car pool vans that people use and all ride together even when not working at the same place.
what about getting involved in some kind of community support groups? call your chamber of commerce if you don't know where or who to contact about one.
and always believe in yourself, this is only temporary, but very good decisions will help you get through this time in your life. believe in your higher power whether it's God or whatever, I am a christian so I believe that God will see me through the tough times. never give up. keep plugging away and always thank God at the end of the day for your blessings even when you don't think you've had any, there are ones to be found.
also, go to your local churches and ask for help. they have financial funds available for people in need. they will help you with rent, utilities, gas, groceries etc. go to more than one church. believe me, later on in life you will be able to return the favor and help someone else in need. don't feel back asking for help. but most of all believe........you are in my prayers.
shelley

[crystalcan]

I know exactly how you feel! I was in the same way last August - the credit card debt was eating me alive. I finally swallowed hard and called Consumer Credit Counciling and signed on for their help. It was hard to do - I lived in denial that I could fix it myself and I didn't want to give up my credit cards, but after looking at my overall debt I knew I needed help. They offered great advise but I had to commit to and work hard to repair my financial abundance. How about a part time job? or a personal loan from family? a temporary roommate? The most important thing for me was accepting financial responsiblity and taking action! I'm still in debt but I've made tremendous progress in the last year and I look forward to more and more financial abundance! Don't give up - take one small step at a time and congratulate yourself for your achievements! Check out Cheryl's "Invest in Your Financial Health" chapter - this helped me get started. Good luck!

[crystalcan]

Being a big fan of Dr. Phil, I see that he will be covering this exact topic on his show tomorrow! If you're not able to watch it, maybe you or a friend can tape it - should be interesting!

Just want you to know that people DO care and support you!

[evette40]

Bryan,

When my job cut my hours back and I was over my head in bills, I was watching TV and a commercial caught my attention. It was called "Consumer Credit Counceling Service" and it showed clients that were in my shoes and how they were able to get out of debt for no charge over a certain time frame.

This service is free and since I joined several years ago I've noticed how the balances on my 4 credit cards have gone down. This program works by you making an appointment with a Credit Councelor and bringing with you all your current monthly statements of all your bills. The councelor will look over all your bills, and your most recent pay stubs and use her calculator to come up with a figure that you will have to pay each month. This figure is affordable because, they allow you to pay you household needs first, before any other outside bills are paid, then the amount left over is given to your creditors. Again, I say, -your household needs are met first! Your rent, food, clothing etc is paid first, then what's left over is paid to the outside bills! This program is free! I'd suggest you call them by looking up their number by calling 1-800-555-1212 and asking for this company's number. Plus they have a website too, that probably their name .com. Since their program is such a success, other companies are providing this same free service and another one is called Profina Debt Solutions. I think with Profina you just need to work over the telephone and theirs no need for an appointment.

As a last resort you can turn to your state welfare office, now I know that sounds low, but you'd be surprised at what programs that are available for people like yourself that's going through a temporary financial crisis. If you don't qualify for their service then they should be able to give you a list of places in your area that have community programs.

I once had my electricity turned off due to not being able to come up with the money to pay the bill. The Gas and Electric company gave me a pamphlet that listed the local offices of Community Help. I went there and provided a copy of my most recent paystub and I qualified for funds that a local church had donated and those funds were sent directly to the Gas and Electric company and my lights were back on within 24 hours!

There are services out there for you and I hope this information is of some help.

Evette40

[evette40]

Do you have a local Wal-Mart in your area? They hire all the time. Try their website. K-Mart is having a hard time struggling with Wal-Mart doing so well. That would be in your field.

You must apply for help with the Credit Counceling Services in your area or through the websites.

When I turned to Profina Debt Solutions I had:

$10,500.00 Providian Visa
600.00 Capital One (visa)
500.00 Capital One (visa)
500.00 Capital One (master card)

I was 3 months behind on all the monthly payments and the creditors were calling me alot!

3 years later, while on the Debt Program and calls stopped immediatly, I have:

$ 8,064.44 Providian Visa
93.23 Capital One (visa) original balance 600.00!
428.58 Capital One (visa)
367.66 Capital One (master card)

And my household needs are met first before the credit card companies can get theirs.

[Saldar]

Hi Bryan!

It's been over two months since we last heard from you! How are things going?

Sal