very scared

[Joan S]

Hi well the time is getting near , Iam about ready to venture off on my journey to do what it is that i have always wanted to do. go to school and study interior designs.we have eveyrthing set a apartment ,close to my boys school close to my school.my husband got a job to where he is going to be making more money. my home town where i am from i have lived here all my life there is relly nothing keeping me here but the fact that i know everything here I am scared that my husband and my boys well that i am going to fail .that I am not going to make it in school. and that they left there freinds and I got nowhere.My husband tells me that everything will be fine and if I dont make something just keep trying untill I do it. it is just eazier to stay and pretend to be happy . I will be 40 years old in a couple of weeks and i am some what ashamed that I have all of these weeknesses. hopefully it will get better and i will do just fine I just need to be gratefull that i get to go on this journey, and my husband supports me so much.

thanks guy for letting me vent my fear

joan s

[sherelle1]

Dear Joan,

What a wonderful, supportive family you have! That is definitely a blessing to be counted.

I've gone through the fear of failure and when I came out on the other end, I realized with the help of one of my brothers, that I have a fear of success! How strange, but true! When things start going your way, when plans start unfolding successfully, when you don't have to struggle so much to make things happen; there is this knawing uneasiness as to why this is happening. (At least it happens to me) We are so used to struggling, that when things finally start going our way, it is foreign to us, and we don't know how to handle it.

You are on the way to becoming an interior designer. Your dream is on course to being recognized. My brother came right out and told me that I had a fear of success and he was right. We know what it's like to swim upstream. It may not be pleasant, but at least it's familar.

I'm still trying to figure out this "realizing your dream" thing too. For me, it has to be a matter of facing that fear head on, and then diving in to life. I have to honestly tell you that right now, I'm standing on the edge of the pool of life getting the courage to dive in. Like you, I have taken many positve steps to get to this point. By diving in, you commit to living a fulfilled life and you leave your old, negative, unfulfilled one behind never looking back. I really believe that you have to make a conscious decision to do so much like taking wedding vows.

I also believe that once you do this, your life will never be the same. You may still have obstacles, but you will have a new vigor and determination to overcome them. You sound like you are where I'm at. I know what I have to do, I just have to "do it".

You will be a great interior designer. You will be successful and fulfilled. Start seeing yourself as this person as you work towards that goal.

Love, Sherelle