Just getting started [Archive] - CherylRichardson.com Community Boards

Caroline

09-08-2003, 03:39 AM

Hi Nancy,

Thanks for the nudge. I got such a burst of adrenaline when i got this reply. To answer your questions:

- I have posted a LFM group on Cheryl's web site
- I was planning on posting the flyers at my church, library and ?
( The flyers are currently in a folder in the passenger seat of my car so that they "stare at me")

As far as my personal disclosure and invitations to join me in my pursuits, well, that's the problem. I haven't gotten the courage yet to tell anyone what i'm up to. I haven't even told my husband and he already knows of my interest in Cheryl's work, my interest in life coaching, my personal goals to optimize my life balance equation and he's supportive of it all. This morning, as i was reading your reply, he was interested in seeing what i was up to..... i actually asked him to go away and give me some space and promised him that when i get more comfortable with my new ideas and work i'll share it with him.

This pursuit is so uncomfortable for me. Here's a little bit of background on me that might explain why i'm outside of my comfort zone.

I am an INTJ. I am an engineer. I am currently managing the quality assurance program at a 250 person site at a high tech company. I am the only woman manager on the staff.
I love to do creative things, especially when its personalized. I love when people enjoy my work.

Nuturing and growing my affiliative persona will be a challenge but i'm optimistic i can do it.

Caroline

Nancy B

09-09-2003, 12:37 PM

Caroline,

You're already on your way to nourishing and growing all of you.
You started when you read Cheryl's books, then made the flyers, then posted on this site. You've already stepped out courageously. Now its just time for the next step.

Church and library sound great. Grocery store, health food stores, colleges, some restaurants, have bulletin boards too.
(Can anyone else think of other places to add?)

Carry them around and put one up anywhere you see a space.

Think about what holds you back from sharing what you're up to.
Is it the idea of being vulnerable? Being vulnerable is a fear that many of us have. (We "I's" especially aren't big on stepping out with private information). Yet when we share our ideas with people who care we often find them full of ideas and support.

Start with baby steps, a friend you trust, a sister across the country, someone you feel will support you. One step at a time, it doesn't have to happen over night. Know that you've already begun!

Keep asking for the support you need here!
Congratulations on getting to this point!

Caroline

09-09-2003, 04:26 PM

Hello Nancy, Thanks for your response. I've got two things for you....

1- I can't believe it but i got my first request for information on the Life makeOver group today!!!! I've already replied and offered an opportunity to chat. Any other advice for 'breaking the ice" is welcome.

2- I really wish i could have participated at the telecon last night, but for the near term the logisitics aren't quite right for me. The boys go to bed at 9p and it's impossible to do the bedtime routine and make the call all at 9p 'on the dot'. So in the spirit of finding an alternate solution, would it be a huge problem or inconvenience if for the next telegathering you all give me a special "newbee" break and let me join in at 9:15p? In the interim, i will see what i can come up with to bettter asssure a quiet / provate pace at 9p.

Look forward to more great things happening,
caroline

Cheryl

09-10-2003, 07:31 AM

Hi Caroline,

I just happened to be visiting the boards and saw your email. Congrats on getting started! You've got a great coach (Nancy!) helping you, so you're in good hands.

Thank you for alerting me to the fact that people need to know that they can join any telegathering at any time during the hour. You helped me to remember that busy moms or dads may have trouble joining right at 9pm so I'll be sure to mention it the next time we announce a telegathering in the newsletter -- that's important for people to know!

Finally, re: posting the flyers -- you might also look for a bulletin board at a local health club, post office or community center. Think about where you may have found info on a bulletin board in your city at some time or another. That might help to give you ideas.

Keep up the good work -- there is a Divine power that will support your every effort -- just watch what happens! :)

Love,
Cheryl

Nancy B

09-10-2003, 07:43 AM

Caroline.

CONGRATULATIONS on your first request!

I always find a good way to start the conversation is to follow my curiosity. What interested her about the group? What motivated her to call? (Remember her calling you took courage too)! Has she read Cheryl's books? Is she familiar with Life Makeover Groups?

Tell her something about you, and what motivated you to start this group. Let her know what you hope to get out of it. Start thinking together about what book to start with ('Take Time for
Your Life' is a great place to start). Share ideas on when and where to meet. Share with her the guidelines for a successful group: http://www.cherylrichardson.com/community/run_a_group.htm

If both of you are open and flexible there's lots of room for possibilities!

If you're still putting posters out don't forget to check out
http://www.cherylrichardson.com/community/tools_finding.htm
for more ideas.

You are welcomed to come to the telegathering at whatever time you can. We are delighted to have you!

Caroline

09-10-2003, 08:15 AM

Nancy and Cheryl,

I filled my husband in ( a little ) on what i am up to.....i shared more details about my dreams....and he's psyched and starting to help me. We had a great chat this morning all about it.

My husband just emailed me to show me he's got a friend who might be abe to help me set up a website for the work i want to do. Then, my curiosity got the best of me just now and I decided to check in to see if there was any new news...and Viola! not only one coach response but two!!

I cannot believe how pumped I feel!!!!! You're gonna make me cry right here at work! Of course, they are tears of joy!

Thanks for the advice and boost. I feel like running out and posting those flyers right now!

Look forward to more conversations,

Caroline

09-11-2003, 05:17 AM

Woowhooh! I got some momentum going here....

Hi Nancy...you got me going, girl! Here's what i have accomplished in the last day:

1- I shared my dreams with my husband as well as my strategy of using this Life Make Over program as my "independent" sounding board and support network. He's so excited for us!

2- I shared my dream with my sister....she's amazed and asked me where i am finding the time ( as i am typically exhausted from work and the general stuff that has just gotta be done). She wants to learn more ... i think i might have inspired her! ( That feels double great.)

3- I actually posted some flyers yesterday..... I started my mission by going to the book store where i purchase Cheryl's books.....no community board found. I almost gave myself a pat on the back for a "good try", then I decided that was not good enough....since i was so close to the library i should just go there and get at least one success under my belt. The community board there had a big sign that 'permission to post" was needed.....i hemmed and hawed....then decided to pursue what i came to do.....so i went to get permission! (This is a phenomenal thing for me. I would have never done this before.) Still not satisfied that i had not gotten a flyer ON a board, i decided to drive over to the community college and "bee-lined" right to a bulletin board i knew existed ( from a recent class i attended). I got two flyers up when i realized "permission was needed". I almost felt like i should go take the flyers down....then, a burst of confidence.....i'll just go and get permission, which is what i did. The woman running the information center was very helpful and took several flyers to post around. Now i felt like i had acomplished what i set out to do!

4- "the coincidence": part of my mission / plan is to offer/ conduct craft workshops for senior citizens. I have talked with my husband and sister about this a couple of times recently...when i walked into the library ( which unfortunatley i do not do often), there was a huge display about senior citizens and services needed. One of the items they were looking for is someone to conduct "craft workshops".....ooooooeeeeee, i jotted down the number, returned to my office and called. A return call identifying much interest was waiting for me when i got home.

5- "the power of family and friends": As i mentioned in a previous posting, i was afraid to tell anyone about my dream....but i finally did. And now, as a result, my husband has linked me to a business friend of his who has offered to help mentor me on the website i want to set up. I have also identifed the need for business cards and my sister felt she could help find a good resource for that.

What next ( not in any specific order...goal 2 items per week):
1- Followup with library and college next week to verify flyers made it to boards.
2- Now that i got these things moving along, start working on my project designs again.
3- Establish contact webdesigner
4- Design business card
5- Contact senior citizen coordinator for craft workshops

Looking forward to developing a local LMG, but for now sharing here is proving very powerful!

Nancy B

09-11-2003, 09:39 AM

Caroline,

CONGRATULATIONS!!! (Do I sound like a broken record? That's OK it's a good song!)

Two things to add to your list:

1. Celebrate! You've taken some wonderful steps out of your comfort zone. So often we take these steps and then jump to whatever is next without giving ourselves credit for what we've done. Celebrating cements the idea in our mind and heart that we did good!!!

2. Give thanks. No accidents. As Cheryl says, as we move towards our dreams the Divine reaches out to help us. The more gratitude we express the more we have to express, its the law of attraction.

You're on your way! Enjoy!

Caroline

09-13-2003, 06:46 AM

taking baby steps and getting great results, quickly.....

Last, i had 5 key objectives on my target, I have made progress on three things ( 1 not on the original list, as i had no control over it):

1-*"Now that i got these things moving along, start working on my project designs again."

Progress:
- Feeling good: I completed 4 handmade personalized cards ( 1- thank you, 3 happy birthday). I was so thrilled with my results, i used them yesterday. I love to surprise family and friends with 'fun" / personal / physical US mail!

- Readiness for the short term: I also personalized two "out of the box" thank you cards and included the postage stamp ! So i'm ready for immediate action the next time i feel grateful!

- Readiness for the long term: I made a color photo copy of the cards i sent for my design book i'm starting to put together. This will also help me celebrate my work and acomplishements.

2-*"Contact senior citizen coordinator for craft workshops."

- Feeling good: Contacted manager of senior services for my town. She was soooo thrilled that someone younger than her clients wanted to help!!! Just the sound of her voice made me feel great!
- Hurdle: Senior Center is only open Mon- Fri 10a-1p. This is not ideal for a 'working' professional. The manager told me she so desparately wanted my help but felt she would need to wish bad things for me...like unemployment! I told the manager that i was sooo excited and committed to the idea, i thought we could still find a solution and recommended a lunch time workshop. Although she was excited, she was concerned that i worked in the next town over and I would lose 15/20 minutes in driving each way and set up / cleanup which would minimize the workshop time. She did not want me to get overwhelmed or stressed and she did not want me to 'lose myself" in the project and end up losing my job.
- Jumped over hurdle: Ellen decided to direct me to her counterpart manager in the town I work. We learned that the senior citizen center in that town is a mile away and it would virtually be no time to get there from work. I contacted Margie and she left word for me that she was pleasantly surprised by my message and looks foward to talking with me.
- Next step: Visit Margie at the Senior Center.

*The unplanned target: Establishing the local LMG
- I got a reply to my reply.to the inquiry. We have now exchanged some personal information and are working through the logisitics of our schedules so we can find a time to chat on the phone.

- I got a second inquiry this morning and have reached out to make personal contact.

Key Focus Items (Not in any specific order. Goal- make progess on two items during this week):
1- Talk with Margie and visit Senior Center
2-Design business card
3- Work on project designs
4- Establish contact webdesigner

Donna M.

09-13-2003, 08:45 AM

Caroline,

Did I read in one of your postings that your area is Somerset County NJ?

I live in northern Ocean County (Jackson) and am looking for a Life Makeover Group. I met w/ one and didn't feel the "chemistry" but I'm reading your postings here and your enthusiasm is palpable!

So...if you're also a NJ girl and we could find a central location convenient to all, I'd love to speak with you and work something out to be part of your group.

Donna

P.S. I won't have computer access for a week...I'm going down the shore this afternoon (the rain will give me plenty of time to catch up on Cheryl's books, journal, and scope out publishers for the children's book I wrote), so I'll look for your response when I get back. Thanks!!

Caroline

09-13-2003, 09:07 AM

Hi Donna, I just finished my hour walk in the rain, the boys and Dad just headed out for haircuts and i decided to sneak another peak at this website.

I'd love to chat with you. I'm open to any number of options for getting this group going. Enjoy your weekend!

Caroline

09-14-2003, 05:07 AM

Thank you Donna for pointing out that I did not make my LMG location clearly known. As you know from my first posting, I was / still am quite nervous about putting myself out here.....but, this is exactly what I need from this site, some nudging....

Action! I have updated the title of the thread to clearly identify my where-abouts! Somerset County, New Jersey.

ps- I got another inquiry about the group.....we're up to 4 interested parties! I look forward to chatting / emailing with each person during the course of the next week.

Gotta go, it's time to go do crafts with my Sunday children's group! Today's lesson: "Good Deeds".

Thank you Donna for the wonderful feedback about my enthusiasm. I do feel like I'm ooozing with inspiration....and it feels good to 'tell the world"! ( oooh, I just made myself extremely nervous about this realization!...i'm gonna quickly hit the post button before i chicken out!....)

prauki

09-14-2003, 07:54 PM

HI I'm new and looking to join a buddy group just to talk boy can talk who want to listen??
prauki

Caroline

09-15-2003, 02:42 AM

Hi Prauki,

Thanks for posting your interest. If you're local to the Somerset County New Jersey area and are interested in the new LMG I'm trying to get established, please consider contacting me through the Somerset LMG listing.

To do this, you would go to the Life Make Over Groups area of this website and using the "find one" option, you can post your interest in the Somerset group or any other one you are interested in.

If you're interested in an on-line buddy group, let us know with an update posting and I'm sure you'll get some feedback.

prauki

09-15-2003, 06:13 PM

Hi No I don't live in NJ area I'm from Ia small town I 'm Interested in on line support group but I'm not on the comp all time sometime I go days with out checking my mail. I could sure uesd support now.
Diane,

prauki

09-15-2003, 06:19 PM

HI Lujbica
I saw this on Cheryl richardson borad with your address email) let me know if you can this, were are you from want state? I hope here from you.
Diane,) it was sept 14 sunday I saw your email.

Caroline

09-16-2003, 03:59 PM

Well, so far we have 6 interested individuals who have come forward and identified an interest in learning more about the LMG. All are from different towns in the Somerset County area or on the "fringe" of the area.
I have responded to each inquiry. Now, we all need to get a little extra courage and nudge to take the next baby step and start learning about one another to explore the possibility of this group getting off the ground! I can tell you that I am finding with each new inquiry I am less nervous about responding and how to respond. The emotions are now starting to shift to excitement about finding like-minded individuals who are seeking to use the group as a coaching forum to help them get going or get to where they want to be.
I am looking forward to getting a diverse and dynamic group of individuals together for a great adventure, our fulfilled lives!

Caroline

09-20-2003, 07:18 AM

About three weeks ago, I was asking for help to nudge me into going public about my desire to set up a local LMG. The call for help worked, as I actually got the nerve to try to get some flyers posted. In my previous posts i explained flyers being posted at the library and college needed "approval' first....so i got the nerve to submit them for approval and committed to mysef that i would followup to see if they got on the boards.

Well, i checked in the library on Thursday and viola!, there it is, up on the board. You can do it, click the button "find a LMG" and get new things going.....

Caroline

09-22-2003, 06:40 PM

It works! It works! Three great things happened over the weekend:

1- Via the website Local LMG "connection", one of the woman interested in the group got in touch with me. We had a good starter conversation and set up a get- togehter for next Saturday morn.

2- Then, another interested woman who originally found me via this website and postings got in touch with me. We also had a good converation and i filled her about the Saturday plans. She's "in" too!

3- Today i received a voice mail from a woman who saw my flyer posted at the local community College. I left word about our Saturday meeting, she's not able to attend but wants to know when the next get together will be.

*******

So i passed the word to the 4 others that have made initial contact with me but have not yet taken the "next" step.

We're on our way to getting a very good start on our local LMG. If you're in Somerset County New Jersey or on the fringes of it and want to check out the idea of participating in the LMG....post your interest.

I can tell you, so far i am amazed at what has been happening over the last couple of weeks.

Nancy B

09-23-2003, 01:31 PM

Caroline,

Congratulations!!!

What fun!

Caroline

09-27-2003, 05:28 PM

Well gang,

We did it! We had our first LMG meeting. There were 3 of us and I think the get- together went great! We talked for 3 hours! . I particularly liked hearing the woman talk about themsleves, their journey, their beliefs.....their work on 'growing themsleves'.....it was very inspiring stuff for me.

We got a rough plan on how we will use the group setting to get us to our goals. We're gonna check in via email or telephone over the next couple of weeks and schedule another get together mid Oct'sh. I feel a strong sense of success with this group....i expect great things to come from our sharing.

Donna M.

09-27-2003, 05:35 PM

Caroline,

I loved our get together this morning...I have very high hopes for our new group. And I treated myself to an impromptu hot stone massage on my way home...fantastic!!

Looking forward to our next communication.

Donna

Caroline

09-27-2003, 05:56 PM

Donna,
After reading your post about the stone massage i was transcended to our get together this morning and all i can think about is the goose bumps you gave me when you tried to describe the Miravail experience.

Later,

Caroline

09-30-2003, 05:04 AM

Shameless Advertisement:
The next Somerset County - NJ LMG get-together will be on a Saturday sometime in mid-October (2003). We plan on meeting in East Brunswick, New Jersey.

Already have 3 committed attendees who are brilliant, creative, passionate, focused and determined to fulfill their dreams! Other like-minded individuals are welcome.

Nancy B

09-30-2003, 08:26 AM

Caroline,

Good idea is to pick a Saturday and set the date now.
That way when other things to do on a fall Saturday appear those of you committed can say: "Sorry, that's my Life Makeover morning!"

Caroline

10-05-2003, 11:12 AM

Hi Nancy,

I have personally experienced dozens and dozens of successes and personal breakthroughs during my life and specifically in the last 6 weeks since i've committed myself to my own "personal makeover". You routinely encouraged celebration of successes.

What exactly does one do to celebrate? ....is it simply quiet time to reflect? ... is it sharing the success story with others? ...

I'm really looking for assurance that i'm rewarding and nourishing myself properly. I have experienced similar inputs from my boss...ie look how much you' ve done, take time to celebrate......" look where we've gotten ourself to in the last year, you should be proud of your work. celebrate.'

Yet, I'm not really sure I'm taking the proper time to celebrate and truley absorb and enjoy the entire experience. I get the feeling that this piece of the program is just as important as taking action to attain goals. So, coach away!............

Nancy B

10-06-2003, 08:54 AM

Caroline,

First, CONGRATULATIONS!

Next, what does celebration mean to you? What are the things that would be a treat for you? What would delight you as a special treat? That's the way to celebrate.

Let me assure you that the right way to celebrate is the way that feels right to you.

Some possible ways are:
simply quiet times to reflect and enjoy the feeling of joy and satisfaction, as you mentioned
sharing the success story with others, as you mentioned
visiting a special place
buying yourself something that reminds you of your success
lighting candles
creating a ritual
dancing
taking time off
saying a prayer of gratitude

There are as many ways as there are people. The important thing is that you have the time to feel good about your success, that you honor what you've done right. It gives you the energy and inspiration for the next step.

Enjoy!

Caroline

10-06-2003, 01:14 PM

Somerset County ( New Jersey) LMG has scheduled our 2nd get-together for Saturday, Oct 25, 2003 at 9:30a in East Brunswick.

This group is going to help make great things happen for eachother! I can feel it!

I found this quote in one of Nancy Baker's archived newsletters. I think it beautifully captures the spirit of the LMG we're looking to develop.

Think 'impossible' and dreams get discarded,
projects get abandoned, and hope for wellness
is torpedoed. But let someone yell the words 'It's
possible,' and resources we hadn't been aware of
come rushing in to assist us in our quest. I believe
we are all potentially brilliant and creative--but only
if we believe it, only if we have an attitude of positive
expectancy toward our ideas, and only if we act on them.

~ Greg Anderson, The 22 Non-Negotiable Laws of Wellness

CherinWhittierCal

10-13-2003, 09:09 PM

It would be nice to meet with others in the Los Angeles, Orange County area. Are there any groups where we can meet once a month or something to help each other, support system.

Caroline

10-14-2003, 11:05 AM

Hello, You can check out the 127 LMG groups registered in California bu going to this websites "community board"/" find Life Make Over group'
http://www.cherylrichardson.com/lmo/findgrp.php

At a quick scan i think i saw 2 Orange County groups listed.

TahoeKarin

10-18-2003, 12:37 PM

Hi all,

Caroline, you make me excited just reading your post. I wish I lived in Somerset, NJ so I could participate in your group, but alas, I live in California.

We have something in common, both in quality assurance, both engineers. Do you find that sometimes quality is negative? I do, that's what first brought me to Cheryl's books and website is because I don't want to live in the negative, there are too many other things I really want to do!!!!!

That's great that your group is finally taking shape, I need to revive the one I have here. I don't think there is alot of awareness here and I have to believe there are alot of creative, supportive people in Lake Tahoe that would want to meet and share ideas!

Thanks for posting the address for the group information, I need to visit it and revive what has gone to sleep!

Keep us posted on your progress...Boy, just reading your posts gave me those shaky anxious enthusiasm jitters!

Also, I live up here with a TREMENDOUS amount of pinecones. Let me know if you need some, I can ship you some as I hate to see the things go to the mulch machine when some senior citizens could make some really cool stuff out of them (they are bigger and fatter than the east coast variety...we have the small ones too!!!). I love helping people out!

I"ll peek in later! Good luck!

Karin

Caroline

10-20-2003, 04:34 AM

Hi Karin,

Yup, you nailed it. Quality Assurance can be a real drainer!!!!! I can credit this "bad" energy for providing me the strong push to "find a better way" for fulfilling my work. This is where the passion and enthusiasm come from.......

The 'negativity", "lack of appreciation" and " i'm too smart to learn anything new" attitudes are cancerous in the culture of the company I work. Weird enough, this HUGE disappointment in the culture has not driven me out (yet)...... I see great potential in what the organization can be, so I have been trying to weather the 'organizations" weaknesses by focusing on my personal development and life balance dreams . I am also very fortunate to have a couple of management peers and all of my bosses ( i have had 6 in the last 6 years) who are pretty big fans of my work! I suppose that is because we have attained the results we set out to get! They are key players in the organization and very competent in their work, so their support and advice carriers a lot of weight with me. These individuals truley recognize my unique, non-traditional QA style paired with my competence and passion for operational excellence with optimal efficiency, agility and flexibility.

So, now the trick is to CRAFT a career/ vocation path that utilizes these skills and competencies that i excel at in conjunction with the 'other things" i like to do.....and i want to do all of this without the stigma of that "Q" word in my title or dept name! This is what drove me to pick up Cheryl's books, drove me to posting on these boards, drove me to getting a local LMG going, going to the senior center, .........

I'm gonna do it..........and whatever it is ...it's going to provide me and those around me with "healthy" energy, appreciation for beauty and competence, faith, creativity, individuality and independence.

I got pretty pumped up there, huh? How are you feeling ....Tell me more about your "Q" life and what you want to do.

TahoeKarin

10-20-2003, 09:47 PM

Hi Caroline!

Yes the "Q" word. When I'm asked what I do for a living, anymore I seem to say 'reliability'. I actually went to school to become a mechanical engineer in order to escape Q but ...well I got sucked back in!

I have to say you sound more positive about your organization. Mine is bad, very bad at the moment as we are dealing with significant change. Change that is unsure. We keep telling ourselves that the change 'at the top' will be good, shake things up, but it's the demeanor of people they are putting in there. One guy calls everyone idiots. This is the same man that refused to acknowledge my existence.

When you say you want to CRAFT a new career, are you thinking an about face from the Q world or consulting on your own? I also see you believe in my favorite phrase "I will allow my dissatisifaction to fuel my motivation"...I think too often we become very miserable and allow it to eat us up and feel helpless. Instead, use that 'fire in your belly' to create a new path. Beat that path through the jungle!

My career change is one that I KNOW I should of done at the very beginning. I have a great love for the outdoors, photography and wildlife. I am also working on grant writing and working with a non profit organization up here to get legislation changed in reference to bears. Yes, BEARS! I just believe I would be a happier soul feasting at the buffet of life (conservation, bears, photography, grant writing) rather than eating a HUGE bowl of pasta ...an endless bowl (working at the corp. I'm at now). To me, I like to sample different things, all the time. I just feel that I'm 'biding' my time.

I returned to school at an accredited university online in order to get some environmental resource management classes under my belt and also get an Masters in Administration with a concentration in public policy and environmental resource managemet. I'm alot like you, work being so uncertain and frustrating at times, I feel the best thing to do is develop myself.

I'll keep you posted on how it goes. I really enjoy being able to connect with someone as I am on the road home when the telecalls are going on.

Karin

Caroline

10-21-2003, 04:45 AM

Karin, You are steps ahead of me in your pursuit of your dreams! I could feel the happy energy coming right out of this tube when you talked about your bears. ....beautiful!

I am still trying to figure out what i'm going to morph into. At this point, there are a number of clues reaching out and grabbing my attention. Based on inputs i have received from work peers, my family and my own self assessments it seems I have characteristics that make me good at quality assurance that would be wise to lean on as i move forward.

The reason i stated i was crafting my next career is i think it will not be a conventional role. My gut tells me i should be in a corp environment for 3 days a week and a non corp environment for the other days. I see myself doing QA type work without the Q. I do not want people expecting me to address a bad part problem like "Q" created it. I want to be way ahead of that... i want to prevent the problem. I want to generate enthusiasm in the culture to prevent problems! I want our workforce to be 'pumped" and happy and engaged!! IF the root of the problem turns out to be a poor infrastructure or development issue, i'd love to be the resource they come to for help getting it fixed. In my current QA work I manage a small staff BUT primarily work with senior managers helping them understand the power of a good infrastucture and helping them implement better systems and develop their people.

Here is what has jumped out at me in the last week:

Communication ( This is somewhat a surprise to me. I never saw myself as communicative or persuasive.)
*My current boss wrote in my review (after working with me less than 3 months) that i was a good communicator and excellent written documentor.
*A couple of weeks ago an employee told me i'm a really good communicator and presenter.
*I did a carreer self assessment in the last 2 weeks and it stated
**" Preference toward "literary and/or communicative" are/or could become the basis for sufficient motivation to be vocationally important. Emphasis is on communication, picking up information from the minds of others and communicating to the minds of others. So, tends to be media conscious for absorbing or expressing ideas or both.
**Motivated to voluntarily communicate to others with the intent or hope that information will be of interest and for their benefit. More strongly motivated in benevolent and literary traits rather than persuasive traits. However, the sense of service responsibility will cause certain willingness or even duty to communicate persuasively if warranted. Motivation behind persuasion is to get people to acccept what is being communicated.
**logical explanation and education can be motivational for caroline but the level of motivation is based on interactions of a number of things; social, leadership, influential, technical , service and functional.

CHANGE ( not a surprise for me BUt clearly important piece)
Prefers and requires change and variety.

"JoB preference"
*Highly prefers a given , known, managed and supported organizational position and role, in which and from which , to functionally serve the interests of the organization. This is an involved service role.
*Enjoys and benefits from being organizationally interactive with others in work or recreation. Motivational preference toward association and service.
*Moderately motivated to manage others. Rather than a top exec , more comfortable in the middle management or group/ team leader roles.
*Needs and values leisure, flexibility and opportunity to set and go at a self-pace.

Any ideas on what to do with this set of attributes? Your comment that you refer to yourself as Reliability instead of "Q". I cringe everytime i'm asked to share what i do. Then i feel "bad' that i am not proud of what i do.....it's strange. Being sucked back in......yup, i understand. My family tells me that i should stop fighting what i am naturally drawn to and good at because it has served me very well professionally. My sister told me a couple of stories about her own carreer and found she kept getting promoted back into management roles without pursuing them. She told me to embrace my attributes, not run from them. My boss has given me similar advice. SO, since i'm not going to change what i'm naturally good at, i've gotta change the "service' role i do it in. Hence, crafting my next position ( less the "Q").

Caroline

10-26-2003, 06:48 PM

Hello all,

We had our Saturday morning LMG gathering. It was only our second meeting and we have already grown from 3 to 4 participants. Welcome Cheryl F.

We had a good 2 1/2+hour discussion.( 9:30a - 12:30p) I could have run longer but we had to close because we all had afternon commitments. We exchanged life stories, desires, possible solutions/ ideas, resource info ( books and websites). We learned about eachother and oursleves and had FUN.

We decided we are going to use Cheryl's book "Stand Up For Your Life" as the basis for our dicussion and personal action plans.

Here's what we each said we wanted from the group:

D- accountability
R- structure ( schedule with boundaries)
Ch - don't want to feel so tired
C- want to switch gears professionally-craft this new work-life 'thingie'

ACTION- Read chapter one of Stand Up for Your Life and take action

NEXT MEETING- Sat morning Nov 22, 2003 location- TBD

TahoeKarin

10-29-2003, 10:23 PM

Hi Caroline!

How funny, when I write to people or talk to them about what I want to do, they tell me that I light up like a Christmas tree. In fact, ask me what I do now, and I don't ..no ...I DON"T light up like a Christmas tree!

You said you had a career assessment done...I did a survey once, and how funny, it told me many different jobs, one being conservation!

After reading what you wrote, the first thing that comes to mind is a trainer, or technical writer. I know many companies use trainers and most are just consultants. It sort of popped out at me when you spoke of communication and also your like for teaching. Not so sure about strictly a 'teacher' as you seem to do well in the work world environment. Is your company doing any Lean Manufacturing/Six Sigma inititives? This is the big buzz right now in the Q world. It is sad, I'm trained to do these things, but I really find no joy in performing them.

You also mentioned that I'm far along! I have been working on ME for a long time. It actually probably started the moment I started my current job 3 years ago, TODAY. UGH. Anyway, I wanted to get away from this work, but I got sucked back in. Yes, I'm good at it, just got through a grueling customer 2 day audit, but I don't like it. I don't find that 'good stress' where everything is clicking and you are feeling good about what you are doing. I dread every day.

I started journaling. I got to a realllly low point and went to a doctor as I went to the emergency room with chest pains. I was diagonosed with anxiety and depression. I was then faced with a pack of pills that would 'numb' what I was going through so I could just go to work, that is how it was explained to me. My God my JOB is what was depressing me! That was 2 years ago. I stared at that box of medicine for a long time. I decided that I NEEDED to feel miserable and move on, and find what I really wanted. It took a long time, reading Cheryl's books as well as The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron to find that I can't limit myself to just one thing, why can't I do a lot of little things? I found this out along the way. I found my love of photography, I actually allowed it to finally come to surface. For a long time, I didn't recognize it as it was beat into my head that 'you have a good job. It pays bills. Photography is foo foo stuff'. So I finally was able to say "I'm a photographer". Boy it took alot! I work on my photography, I'm currently working on databasing all of my slides, which is taking a long time because I switched to a Mac. Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't let ME tell you what to do, YOU tell YOU what to do. For a long time I wanted someone, desperately, to tell me what to do. I thought someone else could figure it out. You have the answer, don't be afraid of it.

One of the 'games' I play with 2 of my disenchanted fellow employees is ...I fire off the phrase "If you didn't have to worry about money or people laughing at you, what would you do for a living...." and what they come out with, without hesitiation, is most akin to what they want to do. Why? Because you are thinking about doing this all day. All I can think about is getting out of work, what could I shoot today? I wonder what grants I can look for. etc etc.

Do alot of journaling and especially the homework in Cheryl's and if you have time look at the Artist's way. It is helpful if you are artistic and looking to find the artist inside and bust them loose. Cheryl's books really helped me get motivated and organized myself.

The process is far from over. I'm applying as a "pet trainer" with a pet store chain ..I have a phone interview this Monday. I'll let you know how it goes. Otherwise, start getting inside and finding what's good, you'll surprise yourself. And don't worry, it takes a lot of time for it to come. But when it does, you'll experience alot of growth and you'll begin to know where you need to go and what you need to do!!!! Enjoy the journey!

Your friend,

karin

Caroline

10-30-2003, 03:52 AM

Karin- I was so happy when i got your post this morning as i know you understand the "q" thing and i am hungry for someone who understands so i can bounce ideas around with. So....i anxiously open your posting.........

and learned that we have more in common.....

**chest pains, doctor, anxiety, medicine .........me too- chest pains ==> doctor= anxiety = acid reflex condition => medicine ( symptoms started oct 2002, critical signs april 2003, scary signs and checkout aug 2003) ...yup- i acknowledged work stress and environment "got to me".......it's been chipping away at me for 5 years and 'hacking" away at me for 18 months.

I am right in the middle of a big deal goingdown at work and have an extremely hightened sensitivity about my "work" and what i want to do. Synchronicity working at its best....i started working on Cheryl's materials seriously in April 2003 ...and i have been focused on understanding myself so I can leverage this to move out of "Q" , or out of the company or out of both...? Then , less than 6 months from my start, i learn of the big activities that will potentially be happening. I had some good exposure......but? Now, this week, its all being tidied up......Who knows, on Monday i may have all the answers and opportunities i have been looking for.

I had an impromptu interview yesterdayon the role of quality. I got a call and in 5 minutes had to arrive. The "new' Operations leader ( who has met me before) comes in the room, and his eyes grow wide and he exclaims...."Oh, No...Quality!!" ( uuuuugh....see what i mean....."negative stigma on this "q"). I quickly repsonded, "Oh, no....you got that all wrong....i thought you'd say, ..."Quality! Thank god she's here!".....i did get a chuckle out of everyone......but i had to work hard on not melting down as this type of reaction to "Q" is what i need to escape. I'm tired of taking it on the chin all the time. .....Now , after a few minutes of superficial chit chat, the operations leader is informed that I was called down to go over the dept. He was surprised, as it was a change in schedule.... We went on to have a good exchange and I am confident that my passion, once again, took center stage and "took care of me"...... I do have a dream job .....it is one that I do not have this Q in my title, its one that i get a ton of variety ( my carreer assessment id'd that i need this and can get "system claustrophia" if not in this environment), and it is one that i can positively engage with people. I need to connect. The carreer assessment id's that i am motivated into an "integral service role".

So, in summary....your posting hit a chord with me. Got my throat tight, got tears trickling down my face, got a belly laugh ( somewhere in the middle of all that).....got relief, sniffles, sigh......

conviction.....keep moving forward!

TahoeKarin

10-30-2003, 10:23 AM

Hi Caroline!

It is so strange indeed to know exactly how my day goes. And what is stranger is my organization also just hired a new plant manager and the whole corporation is changing as we speak. I thought at first when I learned about the change that I would be 'discovered' and that my talents would be put to use. Oh yeah, right.

A chord that really struck with me is that you sound like you are 'holding out'. I might have it wrong, but I did this for a while. I'm still a "Quality Engineer" but I supervise 10 people and have been recognized as an effective leader and team builder as these people work without much supervision and constantly hit above the mark, much better than other depts. They are consciencious, good spirited people, and for the most part, they say they are happy and enjoy their work. I encouraged one of them to seek another job opportunity earlier this year as they weren't happy! This is unheard of with other managers (ha! I'm not even a manager!). I have been with this company for 3 years, I have been promised the moon and stars and I haven't even gotten a dandelion!!!! I went to leave once, I just wanted to be honest about my position, and they gave me a big raise. ***Very important*** I thought at first that this was recognition, the reward I needed. Mental note, it does not matter how much money you make, if you are not happy...you are not happy! As life progressed with the Q position, I finally got another quality engineer in order to help me (re: chest pains, er visit, etc). I thought this would be my saving grace. It's actually worse. Boy, people are good at hiding their true selves during interviews. Anyway, he was hired, and it turns out that in the matter of 3 months he's been there, he's lost his wife as he has cheated on her with numerous women in production. He is bilingual (Spanish) which I thought would be good, but all it does is makes him more 'marketable' for the women out on the floor. It's so frustrating as he's overwhelmed by a single project whereas I need to manage 10 people, supplier audits, customer audits, ISO registrar audits, documentation approval and control, researching failures, approving protocols, collecting quality metric data for the corp. monthly reporting, doing material review, going out on the floor for 'problems' and so on. I'm so frustrated because I do the best I can, thinking I will be 'discovered', that one day someone will see how much work I do, how well I do it and so on. Well that's not happening, they are hiring a Quality Manager to be my boss. I guess I just didn't cut it, but I found out that there are two reasons : 1- the new plant manager has a 'buddy' and 2- I'm not 'old' enough. It was long ago, however, that I have weanted myself of the idea of being promoted as it just is not meant to be. I am better suited spending my energy on finding my true way and my true self, not hoping for whatever they are keeping me in mind for. Caroline, what I'm trying to say with all this that you need to find your true self. DO NOT hold out for something you think 'they' are going to create for you! I learned this long ago. I am patient with myself, but I wished that I had started 2 years ago when all of this came to order, as I would be done with my environmental certificate and would be on my way with my masters. I am still with my job NOW because of my personal fulfillment. My job currently reimburses me for my education (big plus, the classes alone are 800 bucks!), it also provides me with $$$ in which I can pay off my debt right now and position myself while I'm turning my life around and going the way I should of done a long time ago.

For me, the turning point was when I asked the previous plant manager what was in store for me...and he replied 'if I wanted a promotion, I need to go with the guy they just fired" meaning the previous general manager who promised me the promotion. I have put alot of myself into this company, and all I get back is a paycheck. You need to more of yourself into your self! instead of giving it away!

There is something you are meant to do. What is it you think about when you're driving home. What is it you admire when other people talk about what they do. What is it that you tell yourself 'when I retire I want to: ". Why can't you slowly 'retire' and do what you love?

A few months ago, I found myself saying to myself "only 7 more years until we retire" (my fiance retires in 7 years ...I'll only be 40..but heck...I've worked hard)...and I stopped myself short. I'm sending myself off every day "biding" my time. What is that about???? I told my fiance that we aren't going to say that to each other in the a.m. any more because to me, it's like "hey I'm miserable, but I'm not going to do anything about it...I'll just wait for 7 years and then something magical is supposed to happen". That magic needs to happen sooner than we think!!!!

I use Cheryl's books when I feel I've strayed from the 'path' but as I mentioned before, the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron will definately help you focus on what specifically you are meant for. It's a bit too spiritual for some people, but even if you aren't very spiritual, you really need this at this time as to me, it's a very vulnerable, self caring time. You need to be patient with yourself and find what really matters, what really counts.

This is great that I've found YOU because it makes me reflect on how far I've progressed but yet how far I need to go. I too often think that with the next 'new guy' or change that I will be 'discovered'. I have now realized I need to do the discovering as it is I that only knows how much potential I really have!

Look forward to hearing from you!

Karin

TahoeKarin

10-30-2003, 10:26 AM

Hey Caroline!

I also noticed a while ago , you posted you were going to work on these things:

Key Focus Items (Not in any specific order. Goal- make progess on two items during this week):
1- Talk with Margie and visit Senior Center
2-Design business card
3- Work on project designs
4- Establish contact webdesigner

How have you been progressing??? Just curious :)

Caroline

10-30-2003, 12:08 PM

I have been working hard at moving in a new direction......

1- I did meet with marge at the senior center.......i am working on designing the senior workshops......i have already finished some flyers and got some sample projects done.....

2- Business card design has been done since 10/5!

3-Web design.....got the person who will do the design.....just need to layout business concepts nice clear and crisp to him...which is not done yet ( i'm allover the map)

......that is where my business plan comes in.......i am working on this now....and have plans to meet with small business administration services group for some help in next couple of weeks

4- I did a bold brave thing today, Just before lunch i got an email from the Mom who c0-directs the children's ministry program that i volunteer for. I do thecraft designs, planning, material purchase, kitting and instructions to support a weekly program. I have been doing this for close to a year now and I love it! She had just checked out the main lobby bulletin board that i just finished decorating with all the projects we did over the last year and was complimenting me on how AWESOME it came out and was celebrating how much publicity this will bring the program. I responded to her with a thank you then, shared my small business aspirations with her and asked if it would be okay to "advertise" at the bottom of the board that I had done this and add my business card. She just replied "Go for it!". This is the first time i have mentioned to anyone outside of 2 family members. ( baby step for me but a big step for me)

So, i am moving along...but i do not want to leave behind the Corp arena. I just have to figure out where i fit better...in other words, where do i fit where i get the respect and fulfillment i deserve because I'm great at what i do.

All of your stories are familiar to me, except I have been promoted accomanied with financial compensation. Unfortunately, after 19 years doing this, that's not enough for me..... i can't be a paycheck...i just don't have it in me... i will continue on my journey.....no reason to "rush it"....the right thing will come at the right time.....i really believe in the power of "magnetic thinking".

Caroline

11-03-2003, 06:09 AM

Karin...

more reflection on your inputs..."DO NOT hold out for something you think 'they' are going to create for you! "

I like your advice. It is important to me that you understand me.... I do not wait for anyone to take care of me. I can and will do that for myself.

What I am trying to say is, I have been preparing myself to move in a new direction....i am ready as soon as the right opportunity presents itself. As a matter of fact, I have a pitch already prepared on what i'd like to do for the corporation that i'm next employed by. ...I am patiently waiting the opportunity to 'sell it"! As they say, timing is everything.

TahoeKarin

11-03-2003, 05:05 PM

Hi Caroline,

I'm sorry, I don't believe that anyone is going to create opportunity unless I work on it. While I'm working on several different projects at a time, I cannot sit still and believe that someone will make the 'magic' happen. I've found, however, that once I start working on a project, say, the one that I've been working on with a wildlife program here, I notice all sorts of opportunities start leaping in front of me, from other non profits looking for grant writers, to networking opportunities.

I also am pretty firm in my belief in making my own way. I'm sure others will disagree with me, but I've seen so many people promised creative positions in companies and either get them for a few months and be laid off or not get them at all. Maybe your company is different, but corporations are always looking at the bottom line, and unfortunately, creativity is no where in the fine print of the financials! I've witnessed myself as many of my friends be 'eaten alive' in the corporate world as their superiors dangle a carrot in front of them. Many have left, and I envy them. All of them are doing what they want...one works in nutrition, another works with terminally ill people, and still another is going back to school to do what he wanted to do all along.

What I do mean is this, no one is going to do it for you. Whether you are waiting for something to happen or hoping someone creates something FOR you, your best laid plans are within your own control.

What I do believe is that things happen for a reason. You said that you received promotions, that's great, maybe my being passed up for one is a divine force saying "I'm not going to keep you hoping...get moving!". That's what I tend to believe.

I really urge you to journal your pants off. It helped me tremendously to quiet the 'censors' that held me back for much of my creative life. Once you drown those out, the path turns to solid rock and not so much a rickety path of dirt and downed trees....

Karin

Caroline

11-04-2003, 03:39 AM

Hi Karin, I hear you and am listening. I understand that being passed up for a promotion MAY be the kick in the butt necessary to catalpult me into a new work life. At the same time, I have always tried to take things in stride and plan well so I could seize opportuities as i see them.

The asset acquisition went through. I was given an offer last night to join the new company. Not everyone will be given this opportunity. Forthe near term, I see this as a blessing.

To be or not to be ( a "Q" )?We'll see what tomorrow brings.

TahoeKarin

11-05-2003, 06:41 PM

Hey Caroline,

I did not know that you were going through that! It's a very tough situation indeed...but it is a blessing that you were asked on as I'm sure your talents were recognized. A paycheck is a paycheck when you aren't ready to move on!

The company I work for- I wish I knew what was going on there! I have feelings they will be moving us to Mexico in 2 yrs or less, so that only makes me take more classes and speed up my time line! I'm not sure what is going on, but for sure, I don't want to be standing in the middle of an empty office one day and wishing that I would of stepped up 'my life'.

I still finding journaling really reflective. I haven't been journaling too much lately, which I'll probably start again. Sometimes when work is so NUTS I go into my jeep and just start writing as a break. Boy, they have no idea what to think of me.

Don't stress out too much. I know it sounds just so vast and scary, but not everything is in our control. But keep the faith that when one door is slammed shut, another window always lends itself as our escape route!

I didn't realize when you said that you were 'waiting' that you were literally 'waiting'. I'm sorry that I wasn't more sensitive :/

Q is a very tough job, take care of yourself during this stressful time!

Karin

Caroline

11-06-2003, 04:23 AM

Hi Karin,

First , I really enjoy our e-conversations. I feel "connecd" when we chat because you live the same professional "battle" I do. Clearly, it appears that "q' jobs are the same wherever you go. I do not understand why it is that way and i'd like to be the one to change that.....but that really is a culture thing and the "leadership' values is where it needs to begin. This is why I am contemplating going out on my own....I could set the values for my company and develop a profitable "happy", fulfilling place to work.

I'm not sure if you've read my other posts, but there is a lot going on in my life. I have been weathering the acquisition efforts since late Aug....and it got more and more intense along the way and now its CRAZY. I was offered my same position as Director of Quality Assurance, however, none of my staff were 'brought over". I had to lay a person off Tues, and say good-bye to the other two.

Last Thursday night , my Dad sufffered a massive heart attack and is in critical condition. It is an hour-by-hour, day-by day approach to life. I have been balling my eyes out for days, then trying to integrate some face time at work to try to assure i "make the best" of my situation.

So, amongst all this...the "issue" of Q work being fulfilling is ULTRA HIGHLY sensitve area for me. Don't feel too bad about your candidness on "q" that you shared with me (LOL).I like and appreciate candidness. I recognize that sometimes I will hear what i don't want to hear and sometimes it will push my buttons and I will challenge what I hear. Consider it "talking out loud, just saying what's on my mind..." . This is intended to help me sort it out....and a healthy exchange is appreciated.

I have been walking around saying to myself and even out loud to my husband, "Karin is right. What am I waiting for?... I waited for ..... I waited for ......and now here I am and nothing has really changed!" I've even taken it one step forward, yesterday I started expressing the same sincerites to my colleagues and even my new boss. Everyone is concerned and reminding me its only day 2 of the new company. Their advice is "Give it time". Aaaah! There it is again, "wait" disguised in 'give it time"! So, you see, I am hearing you.

Okay, enough about me.....I love your journaling in the car ......I have been doing similar things! I just recently finished filling up my "lavendar" journal....and graduated to my leather bound journal, a gift from Mother's day. ( hey Donna, I actually started writing in it this week!). Your "q" life...well its sounds much worse than my situation, but i can clearly see how getting your education needs satisfied using the benefits from your company could 'pull you through" each day. It makes total sense to me. I'm so happy for you because your on a clear path to your passion. Keep your pace....it's well worth pursuing.

TahoeKarin

11-08-2003, 08:25 PM

Hi Caroline,

You have been having a very very tough week. You and your father are in your prayers, I'm hoping he pulls through okay and you don't run for the hills after an acquisition. I don't know what is more stressful, being asked to stay or being asked to leave in those situations. I haven't been asked to leave yet, I've gone through a couple now, 2 in fact in the same company, and I have a feeling another is brewing..in the works as we speak! Talk about BAD environment!

We got our new Plant Manager. The kicker for many of the upper mgmts people is that he is only 4 years older than me and several years younger than them and without advanced education as well. He came from a company that obviously believes in results rather than degrees, which is good. I think he is a good person, but I don't know what to think about the whole situation. In fact, I'm not thinking anymore...Ha..you'll like this one.

I went into his office on Monday after a few days off for minor surgery. I asked to talk to him as ..well...three days off and I was ready to tell him how I felt. We started talking and I realized the other Q engineer already talked to him and managed to get HIS needs fulfilled. He (the other engineer) will be doing 'process' and I will be doing 'paper'. I think when the Plant manager told me that, I almost cried. Caroline, the 'paper' part is EXACTLY what I've been trying to get away from! It's like the night mare is getting worse! AH! He looked at me very confidently, probably thinking "hey, I solved this, I broke up the work, she'll be happy" and I just said "I HATE paper! It's so damn BORING!". He looked like someone shot him in the butt with a rubber band. Mind you, afterward, I told people I work with about this and they said it was a career ending move. Why...I ask, is it a career ending move to speak your mind. He then quickly added "I'm not asking you to do it the same way". I sort of felt better for a moment, but just the thought of the blah blah paper and ISO audits and document control. I just wanted to kick the door open and yell PAPER at the top of my lungs!
After the meeting, I felt worse. Here I am, an intelligent individual with a mechanical engineering degree who wanted to work more in reliability and the science part, is now relegated to working on not getting a paper cut. I may sound like someone that is whining, but I'm starting to wonder, is it because I wear a skirt to work? I am starting to see signs of de-femalization all over the office and plant, and wondering, how long can I work for a company that has such disassociated values as mine?

So there you have it Caroline, I hate paper. It's been a real roller coaster ride. Oh and there's a better part...

I have a marquee banner on my PC that says "I will use my dissatisfaction to fuel my motivation :) " as my screen saver. The new Plant manager came to talk to me and sat next to me in a chair at my desk. Guess what starts scrolling across the screen? Yep. His eyes almost popped out of his head "Karin, this will all change, you need to give me a chance". and I simply told him "You cannot change what you cannot control". He debated for a minute and said that "satisfaction" will fuel me not being disappointed. I said, well you're not me. It's funny because he said we can 'discuss this over a cup of coffee'. I'm thinking, you better have Kaulua in that coffee bub because you won't change me.

I often find it funny that the management style seems to be evolving towards making subordinates feel good without really 'feeling' what they are feeling. There was no empathy when he said that. How can someone tell me what does and does not motivate me? Everyone is different, and according to Maslow(sp)? hierarchy of needs, we are all at different levels of needs.

I don't know, there are people at work that make me laugh, and it seems like the new plant manager is trying ...oh I didn't 'give him a chance' yet. HA. As I keep telling myself, don't hold out. I've held out for 3 years. I have got to make things happen.

Everyone I've known that was in quality does not work in it now. That doesn't mean that maybe you can approach how to use creativity with quality. That would be an interesting POSITIVE angle as just being in that line of work just eats all the POSITIVENESS in your body. I know when I went to college, I got stuck with a really negative lab partner. It took one of my friends telling me they wouldn't hang around me anymore if I was so negative, to realize what an impact she had on me. Now, I feel totally negative, and it's making me slide down a slope with my personal development. I'm not sure how I'm going to shake those claws off of me, but I need to spend time seperating my work life for my ..me life. I feel like I made some real progress in May-July and now I don't even remember what I'm about!

BTW I got the new Julia Cameron book "Walking in this World". I'll let you know how it turns out. I read that and the Life Makeover book on the weekends. I also have been slipping on journaling and self care. However, we have announcements at work for 'flex breaks' so now I go and walk at least one time a day for 15 minutes when they call the flex break. At least I'm getting some good air in my lungs.

Take care of yourself Caroline, and don't let the Q get you down. Although your company doesn't sound as NUTS as mine.....

Your friend,

karin

Caroline

11-10-2003, 07:59 AM

Hi karin,
Thanks for sharing. We are indeed sharing universal "Q"experiences. It sure is great to have someone to talk with about this. Yup, the saying "misery loves company" is true EXCEPT togehter we'll help eachother figure it all out....that's why we come here, right?

Two of my sisters started to kick my b**** about the work thing late last week...luckily for me they "heard" me when i asked for support and explained what i needed. They are clearly worried about me, and Dad ( of course). I reminded them of all the focus I've been giving to the pursuit of work happiness and promised I'd find the solution if I keep focused on it. I asked them to keep me focused on searching for the solution not telling me what to do. ( You know how i react to that!) They understand better now.

My Mom has been worried about me, and more so now....she told me yesterday how she is used to me being happy and silly and that I was the comedian of the family. She shared with me some of her favorite "caroline" moments. We laughed...I explained that I just need to pass through this...

Hopefully we can chat again soon....I'm tired. Dad is not doing well as their is no evidence of his heart repairing itself. We will be facing more difficult days ahead. We appreciate you keeping us in your thoughts and prayers.

TahoeKarin

11-11-2003, 05:06 AM

Hi Caroline,

Sorry to hear your dad is not recovering as quickly and I'll be thinking of you. You need take care of yourself so you are there to help your dad pull through..so make sure you get enough rest!

Oh it's so funny, work...I really urge you to read this book by Julia Cameron, "Walking in this World". It mostly deals with 'creativity', so it is somewhat different from Cheryl's books. If your plans are 'artistic' in nature, this will help you a great deal. This book teaches you how to take 'baby' steps so that you aren't really waking up one day and going to work and saying 'hey I quit'. It's more slower paced and methodical as to moving from one 'era' to another. It's helped me with my thinking as I'm an 'all or nothing' which is so self sabotaging that it's hard sometimes to make ANY movement anywhere.

I had a good talk with the new Plant Manager and told him how if there was a problem, it was automatically up to me to fix it. He does show promise as he's now gone to all the directors and told them to fix their own messes, I have other stuff to do. And just doing the paper, I'm not so frantically busy. So that's the plus, I have more time to work on my school work and exercise as those are my two big necessities right now. Exercise is the best sedative after a really stressful day.

I forgot to tell you, I'm orginally from the east coast. I grew up in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, and I come out each Christmas. I think you might be close as I bought my first car in New Jersey. :) I will be out there for a week, while it's not a whole lot of time, usually after the 4th day of being with my parents, I'm looking for an escape route! LOL!

Well gotta go get ready for work ...

Take Care!

Karin

Caroline

11-12-2003, 05:07 PM

Karin,

Glad to hear you're optimizing the situation at your work. I too am optomistic that good things will come out of my situation.
If you are out here in December, we'll have to arrange a "special" LMG get -together where you can be our special "guest".
..about Dad... well, we finally gave him up to a better life. I can tell you this was no easy task for us or him....but we got through it. Dad passed away this morning , Wed November 12, 2003 at 10:38am. We are now arranging for his viewing Sunday and his funeral Mass and burial Monday.
Thanks for checking in...and FYI- I plan on picking up that book you recommended!

TahoeKarin

11-12-2003, 08:50 PM

Hi Caroline,

Sorry to hear about your father. I hope you are doing okay...

Oh man, work today was the 'normal' Q day. I had people yelling at me, pointing fingers, the works~! I came to realize, that this just isn't NORMAL ...I hope you don't go through that at your work. Ours is just way out there, even the new plant manager is just befuddled. I went to work at 6 a.m. and didn't get out until 5 a.m. but I've found some neat stuff to do on the wknds so you know what I'm always looking forward to...

I finally realized that I'm in the typical 'doing too many things for too many people' and now they have grown lazy because whatever they didn't do, I would just do for them as I saw it as necessary. I still don't want to make people 'upset' so I wind up doing part of their job. This is bad. So now they are wandering around the building and I'm doing alot more stuff. This new plant manager however, is seeing what is going on and promises to correct it. I'll keep you posted.

Sounds like a plan in December, I would be up to it! It's going to be around the week of Xmas though...

Karin

Caroline

12-16-2003, 04:58 AM

Group is still going, having some snow challenges for our Dec gathering BUT we will conquer this! You can see other threads Nov and Dec on our efforts. Stay tuned.

Judi

01-01-2004, 08:58 PM

Hi Caroline & Karin,
I was reviewing your posts and truly feel the stress you are both under yet I am in a completely different field. I work in the graphic arts. My company was great for a while then managers changed and accounts were lost so the pressure started. I like what I do but deadline pressure has made my job so physically draining. I am rereading Cheryl's book Take Time For Your Life. I want to remind myself each day about self care. It seems the job market has caused so many companies to downsize which is adding extra stress to those of us that are left.
Your abilities to manage under such stress and to do it so well is now being directed towards your own life. If we put all the energy we put into our jobs towards ourselves we are looking at a very different future. I am not sure what direction mine will be going in but I keep asking for help and options from the universe. I live in New Jersey (Union County) but cannot make Sat. morning LMO group meetings. If you ever meet on a Sunday please post it so that I can join you as a guest just to feel the energy of such great woman demanding the very best life for themselves. Sometimes I feel if my boundaries were better and my self esteem higher I would never let all the petty crap get to me. I am working on it. There is a better plan out there for us to discover. I am going to get The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. It sounds very interesting.

Happy New Year & Life, Judi

Caroline

01-02-2004, 05:31 AM

Hello Judi,

Your attention to our corporate battle cry is appreciated. I feel you understood and yes, it's sadly seems to be a universal cry. But, on the upside, those of us that are calling out and making our "do not want" s public are doing as a means to help us go after our wants. We care alot about each piece of our life ... for most of us "work" is a third of what we have in our life balance equation. That's one reason we are here.....attention and mindset to positive energy and to stay there as often as we can.

I am committed to a full life with equal and joyful attention to my family, my business and my community. It's that simple, right? Well, in spirit yes. In practice, no.... I guess i haven't practiced enough! So, that is what I am committed to do...practice, practice, practice...

Thanks for reminding me of my mission! It's a great way to start the new year.

Caroline

01-02-2004, 05:34 AM

Judi,

Our group will be setting our meeting schedule in the very near future. We are also planning to use some tele-conferencing too. We'll continue to post our schedule here.

Judi

01-02-2004, 05:29 PM

Hi Caroline,
Thanks for your reply. I will also keep reminding myself to practice and the battle cry will be "balance now".

Cheers, Judi

Caroline

01-09-2004, 04:55 PM

The Somerset County / Bridgewater NJ LMG schedule:

Saturday 1/10/04 Mission accomplished.
*4 of us met and as usual had a couple of hours of great conversation. We have finished Chapter 2 of Stand up for your life and are working on Chapter 3 now.
*I have received a couple more inquiries about our group and am exchanging information. It's so much fun chatting with people that are trying new things and looking for tools to move them closer toward their personal goals.

Saturday 2/7/04
Saturday 2/28/04
Saturday 3/20/04
Saturday 4/10/04
Saturday 5/1/04
Saturday 5/22/04

June TBD*
*We have a member going to Miraval for Cheryl's retreat. No, its not me but I wish it were!

Caroline

01-31-2004, 06:12 PM

I'm soooooo excited. So much has happended since our last meeting. Only 6 more days....

Caroline

03-28-2004, 06:17 AM

Our Somerset County / Bridgewater LMG has been meeting consistently since my last posting. We have met as we committed to: Saturday 2/7/04 , Saturday 2/28/04 , Saturday 3/20/04.

Our next get-togehter is scheduled for Saturday 4/10/04.

We have grown to 5 members and the group is enjoying our growth together. There is quite a bit of flexing of courage muscles, accountability and lots of growth and energy.

We are currently working on Chapter 5 of Stand Up for Your Life and preparing our list of 7 for the Face Your Fear Game (Chapter 5 Take Action Exercise page 165-177)

Object of the game: Build Courage Muscles
Prize: Courage, confidence and emotional strength
Game Rules:
*Choose an action assignment from each of the following 7 categories-
1. Fulfill a dream
2. Stand out from the crowd
3. tell the truth
4. be bold
5. Face a physical fear
6. Face a professional fear
7. Face a finacial fear
*the book has lots of examples for actions in each category
*Share the actions selected with your LMG to assure you are choosing items that will stretch you outside of your comfort zone
*You must complete all 7 assignments in 30 days ( if assignments are big like a move, you must have started the process in 30 days)

The plan is to kick-off the face your fear challenge at the next LMG 4/10/04 and followup over the next 2 LMG sessions to see how we did.

sallyr

04-17-2004, 01:59 AM

Hello to everyone out there from Wellington, New Zealand! (Lord of the RIngs Country!)

I read the book Stand up for your Life recently and related to a lot of what Cheryl says and was moved enough to decide to start a LMG myself. I downloaded the posters and flyers and sample letter from the site and went around the local supermarkets and posted them on their noticeboards, also the library and a gym and an organic shop and then wrote letters to the friends and acquaintances I thought may be interested. Some of the places I went to thought it might be something to do with religion...?! so I made it clear to them what it really was. I hadn't mentioned a word to my friends previously about what I was doing so it was a complete surprise to them. Within 2 weeks I had 2 replies from flyers - a male & female and several friends also confirmed their attendance at an initial meeting to tell them about what I was planning. So far I have 10 people turning up tomorrow!!!! I have been doing some internet dating and the guy I met today is coming as well so we have 2 guys and 8 women. I feel really pleased with myself for having done something about this idea instead of talking about it and doing nothing which is what I do quite often. Looking forward to tomorrow as I live in a 1 bedroom flat which will be overflowing with 10 people in it...! So I say to those people who are a little nervous about taking the first steps - be brave and you could be very surprised at the result. No action - no results!
Will keep you posted on the outcome.
Sally Rees
Wellington NZ