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Life Makeover for the Year 2014

Week 37 – The next time you get angry do this and watch what happens.

September 7, 2014

Greetings!

Speak, Write & Promote: Become a Mover & Shaker is happening in Chicago on November 7th 9th.  If you’d like to expand your audience or customer base for your book, product, or service, be sure to read all about this exciting program here

Have a good week!

Love,
Cheryl

 
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The next time you get angry do this and
watch what happens.

Almost every day I post an affirmation on my Facebook Page to support visitors who want to stay on track with living awake and authentic lives.  I enjoy the interactive nature of Facebook and I love that I can personally connect with people from around the globe.  

You can join us by visiting: facebook.com/cherylrichardson

One affirmation I’ve posted in the past usually raises a few questions.  

 “I allow myself to embrace my power by fully expressing my anger in healthy and productive ways.”

It’s the “healthy and productive ways” that people inquire about.  

I remember one of the first times I learned how to do just that.  And in doing so, connected with an unexpected power hidden beneath my anger.  Here’s what happened:

In 1991, my friend Lucy died of cancer.  She was 83 years old and for three months we walked the path of completing her journey together.  It was a life-altering experience.  I’d never been that close to death and I was blessed to be with her when she took her last breath. 

For several months after her passing I was very busy.  As the executor of her estate, I was charged with getting her home emptied and ready to be sold.  It was an emotionally turbulent time.  As is often the case with a major life crisis, the floor beneath my feet started to shift and my life began to change dramatically.  A five-year relationship ended.  I was forced to leave my apartment when my landlord decided to have a family member move in.  And my work started to move in a whole new direction.  

During this period there were lots of tears, frustration, and exhaustion.

One day, my friend Bill and I were going through Lucy’s house boxing up her belongings.  He listened patiently as I cried and complained about losing my friend and the subsequent uprooting of my life.  After an hour or so, he asked me to follow him to the basement.  Once there, he showed me a large box of glass he’d gathered in a corner of the room.  “I’m going upstairs” Bill said, “and I’m going to turn up the stereo full blast.  When I do, I want you to empty this box into the corner of this room.”  

I looked at him as if he were crazy.  

“And as you smash each jar I want you to scream and yell as loud as you can to get the pent up rage out of your body.  Don’t come up until all the glass is gone.”  

As Bill climbed the basement stairs, I stood looking at the box.  Was I really that angry, I wondered?  I didn’t think so.  But, honoring his request, as soon as I heard the music kick in I picked up the first jar and smashed it in the corner.  It made a loud, popping sound.  Then, I picked up another and let it rip.  By the third jar I was screaming like a mad woman desperately grabbing for the next one.  

By the time I emptied the box, something significant had shifted inside me.  I felt both exhausted and exhilarated.  I ran up the basement stairs looking for more glass smiley2

That day taught me about the importance of expressing my anger.  Until then, I never felt comfortable being angry.  It just wasn’t nice. When I was mad, I’d do things like write rage-filled letters that I never sent, or talk to friends.  While these methods were helpful, they never left me feeling empowered the way moving my body did.  

Smashing glass helped me to realize that using my intellect to express anger wasn’t enough.  I needed to physically get the anger up and out of my body to access the power hidden beneath.  

For days after that experience I felt lighter, emotionally stronger, and better able to face the job before me.  

let your anger out

Since then, I’ve learned to accept the fact that we all get angry and keeping it inside does no one any good.  So I use healthy, safe ways to let it out.  I take a kickboxing class, dance like a mad woman, or visit a batting cage with Michael to smack baseballs.  

I’m not interested in being nice or ignoring “distasteful” feelings.  As far as I’m concerned swallowing anger is a recipe for trouble – relationship problems, illness, and depression.

So remember, the next time you get pissed, don’t stuff it, and don’t just use your words.  Take a spin class and ride your way to emotional freedom.  Kick a soccer ball around the backyard. Visit a driving range and whack golf balls. Crank up the music and scream at the top of your lungs. 

Then wait for the power to emerge.  

It will.
It’s there.
Always has been.
It’s just waiting for you to let it out. 

 

This Week’s Video

Okay, here’s a video that will help.  Check it out here.  Thanks, Sara!